Can I read minds?
I have been having this pm discussion about empathy: I do not think I have empathy because I do not have the reciprocity thing going on. I can't put myself in other people's shoes. Not to mention which I don't think their emotions are relevant to me. But I do feel them from time to time. Inexplicably I have an emotion and think it is mine, and then it turns out to be something someone else is feeling.
One eerie experience of this happened as I was driving home from work one day. I began crying, couldn't figure out why. Much later, after I had gotten home, I got a call from my mother saying that her mother had died. I asked what time, and it was exactly the time I started crying.
The person I was pming asked if I had thought about any shielding techniques, and I said no.
Not sure what they meant by shielding techniques, but I though it would compromise my credibility if I walked around with a lead (or perhaps a foil) cap on. I work as one of the guys in the white coats who comes to take folks, away, ha ha. Hm.
On the other hand, I wear a hat 100% of the time. Feels like burning head without it. I wonder what others think? Is this mind reading? Sensory integration problem?
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Jim_Crawford
Tufted Titmouse
Joined: 24 Aug 2005
Gender: Male
Posts: 37
Location: Ballarat, Victoria, Australia
Hi Neuroman,
You wrote: " ... I don't think their emotions are relevant to me. But I do feel them from time to time. Inexplicably I have an emotion and think it is mine, and then it turns out to be something someone else is feeling."
My emotions/feelings are mine and no one else's. I will not allow any one "inside" my head to tinker. My sense of Self is simply too fragile for that.
Over many years I noticed, as have you, that when someone displays a strong emotional state or profile in my presence their state of arousal or mood seems to "leak" into me so I unconsciously emulate their level of arousal or mood. I knew this happened but could not figure it out. It is similar to my habit, when talking to someone with a strong accent, e.g. Irish or German, to "slide" into their accent, style of speech, word-order, etc. and even imitate their posture. I was reading an excerpt from a book by Stephen Shore who described what he and his mentors [psychologists of the name Miller] called "echo-emotiva". Shore described this as when the emotional "presentation [arousal or mood] flows or leaks into his person and he "echoes" it [like echolalia]. I do not like it when this happens. I feel invaded.
As for "shielding techniques" I think we all have to develop them if we are to survive in the NT world. I know I wear a "mask" that is a learned pattern of social responses over my autistic Self any time I am in the company of NTs. It took quite a while to learn to present this "act" and it depends on me being highly aware at all times of what is going on around me so as to avoid being caught out and display an "autistic" [ususally highly anxious] response. It is very tiring to maintain this mask which is why I need to have several hours a day by myself. [Have you read the article by Jane Meyerding et al: "Hello Friend, Now Go Away, etc.? It is on the web.]
Jim Crawford.
Yes, it's a natural tendency to assume the emotions of people around you, including negative ones. However, it's bizarre that you might recognize these emotions as your own instead of being the result of other people's moods.
However, I have read on the Internet that many people who are less emotionally aware might not recognize empathic emotions as originating from outside themselves instead of inside themselves. I would have always thought this was easy enough, but apparently a lot more people than I would have guessed cannot even name their own emotions very well (and this is not exclusive to AS or alexithymia).
I have this happen too, and I hate it.
It happens with books and movies too, but it's easier to control and use to your advantage there. Like, I tend to come away from a book like Huck Finn actually thinking in the accents of the characters, which can be kind of cool.
Although I boasted to my family when I was younger how well I could put myself into another person's shoes, I mostly meant that I could visualize how the room/location looked from their spot. My main conflicts with people arise from a flaw in logic on either my part or the other person (so far by my count it seems about 50% each, but those 50% times that I'm right and the other person doesn't see things clearly no matter how plainly, concisely, and coherently I put it, that REALLY frustrates me.
This quote is exactly like me. Whenever my sisters were stressed out (read as ALWAYS), then I would become extremely agitated, and ask them to leave the room because there was too much negativity for me to concentrate on my homework. Then, they'd yell that they weren't angry with me, and I'd say, "I know." Apparently, this frustrated them greatly.
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