What exactly happens during a meltdown?

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I'm just curious, because when I described one today, I didn't exactly know how to share my experiences. I find that my mind tends to completely block them out.
But then again, everyone meltdowns differently, so I'm also interested to hear how somebody behaves.

Well, I only ever have meltdowns related to social situations, so when I'm feeling made fun of, manipulated, misunderstood, especially when I feel that someone is being intentionally thick.
I'll first fly into an insane rage at them, yelling that they're just pretending to be stupid and to just STOP IT, then I'll cry and run away, cry alone for maybe 15 minutes, rest in the dark thinking things over and reliving things trying to make sense of the event for a time that can vary from 30 mns to an hour I guess, then I'll realise the person was not pretending to be stupid, but either: -are really stupid, so they can't be blamed for that right?
- I totally misunderstood what they were trying to say, so I'm the stupid one (and violent, great)
- I totally forgot what it was all about, and I'm sure it was nothing and I overreacted.
Result: I feel incredibly guilty and sheepish, go and try to get forgiveness, and feel exhausted and in need of a thousand hugs.

The only two types of meltdowns I have had are...


1)The "Crying" meltdown, where some tense situation or you got your feelings hurt causes you to cry, however as I got older this particular meltdown became less and less because I "Manned up".

I will admit, on some really bad days I will shed a few tears in the privacy of my own home.

2) The "Go Crazy" meltdown, Yes, I know MMA fighter Rampage Jackson is NT but this is the best visual I could find....

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdqM8WvDnp0[/youtube]

The Go Crazy meltdown can have a little of the #1, yelling, boiling to the point you are shaking because you are so freaking mad, etc.

Leme try to remember, I think I got really pissed and thought everyone was a stupid jerk who was mean and didn't understand, screamed, resisted attempts to be calmed down, and cried, until eventually I cool down, as I can't keep it up and I focus on something interesting, and once I was all calmed down I could laugh at how riducling I was being.

I get very hot and feel agitated and feel like I can't stay still and its like a thunderstorm in my head that has to rain itself out and then after it rains itself out I have the shutdown and feel drained of energy

I freeze. I lose all ability to talk and go wide-eyed, staring blankly until I snap out of it. If possible, I'll slink off to somewhere hidden and wait it out. Usually triggered by an overwhelming social situation.

Okay. I burst into tears and start crying. Occasionally I yell, but only if someone really annoys me during a meltdown. When I was younger, the meltdowns would get to the point where I put my head in my arms and go silent. That's my meltdown and I hate it because it's what causes people to bully me. They bully me to see me get like that. I bet they think "Let's bully Teri so she cries" and that's how I developed my reputation as a "sook" or a "crybaby"

Different things for different Aspies. A meltdown means we've been forced to take in more sensory stimuli than we can handle at once and have had no escape.

I don't know what exactly classifies as meltdown, but I have these:

- Yelling when hard-pressed in a social situation when I perceive others are unfair with me or mess with my life (or my family's, for that matter) without competence, and I feel I explained my thoughts or just can't explain it anyway...

- Road-rage. Stress building up in me when I commute by my bicycle to work due to traffic, and it only requires a trigger, like a car unfairly honking at me or doing something equally nasty, and I'm there... I can become aggressive, and after it I feel extremely ashamed of myself (it can lead to a crying fit). I try to balance it, though, so that I have some control over it. Thought replacement is one way to do it. I've thought up the idea I'll think of what Oliver Twist (a favorite fictional character of mine) would do if he lived in our age and would have the same pure loving heart he always had.

- Meltdown at home. Probably the stupidest of all. I perceive something is just not right, like the train was late, I was held up in traffic, there was too much noise in the neighborhood, I did something wrong and I have to suffer its consequences, was treated unfairly at an exam and I have to make up for it, etc. Hitting, kicking, throwing things, swearing, messing up bed clothes, pillows and such.

It takes a lot of things to start it going, and sometimes I can even feel the build up, but not always. But once it's built up, it only takes one thing to start the meltdown. Once that happens, I'm overwhelmed and my brain is effectively bluescreened, I guess. I can't really think through or effectively control my actions.

What usually happens is: I cry. A lot. Or: I take it out on an inanimate object. I can try to fight this but it doesn't help, it just delays slightly. I always feel horrible afterward.

They're not as bad/intense as they used to be, and less frequent.

Is this thread about meltdowns or shutdowns? Because to me, some of the answers described a shutdown more than a meltdown. I have two kinds of meltdowns. One kind is where I usually get really agitated at first. Then, if I can't notice it and get away from the situation in time, I start to yell at the person behaving "stupid". This kind of meltdown comes when a social situation is too hard. The other kind of meltdown is where I start to cry and hurt myself (headbanging, biting or cutting). This meltdown comes when everything is just "too much". It's not usually caused by a certain situation, the tension just builds up gradually and the situation that sends me overboard can be something really unsignificant.

That's probably because what used to cause us meltdowns as kids and teens sometimes feels exactly the same as adults, even though we start to shut down instead...sometimes it's hard to pinpoint the moment it starts shifting.
I remember the "head in arms" thing NZaspiegirl016 mentioned... It's actually a good coping technique if noone decides to bully you for it...god teenage years are the worst socially speaking.

Pure anger. Wishing to put an end to my miserable wretched life. Craving for sympathy and attention from other people. Screaming out insults. Physically beating myself up. Reminding myself and everyone else how much I hate myself.

I hate meltdowns. I hate them.

Either I get angry - I slam pillow on my bed, kick wall with my fist, yell angrily or, which is more often, I become unresponsive. I feel like my mind is blank, I stay at home, I don't answer my phone, I don't go out.
I rarely have meltdowns in public now because I've learnt to avoid situations that may cause them.

i either hit the walls or whatever i find, or i try to hit myself with my hands realy realy hard uncontrolably.

For social meltdowns, I yell and I attack things. Once, I kicked a hole in the wall; it was surprisingly easy. At first, I'm always trying really hard not to have a meltdown, and I'm shaking and breathing hard and talking in italics. Then, if whoever it is pushes me too far, I start yelling and swearing really loudly and I sometimes get on the floor or attack things. I stay like that for a while until I realize I need to go away and calm down. Sometimes, this doesn't happen until it's escalated to dangerousness.

For anxiety meltdowns, I get reallly quiet and start shaking and sometimes I rock to try to calm myself down. I try to be in a safe space but I can't always. For years, I've been throwing up during these meltdowns as a coping mechanism, but I'm trying to stop so I don't damage my esophagus and teeth and all those other parts. My anxiety meltdowns are usually triggered by overstimulation.