Difficulty getting served at a bar

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Does anyone else have trouble getting served at a bar, like I do? I go stand by the bar, and even when there are only two or three people there, no bartender approaches me for over 10 minutes. This is especially true at "nice" clubs. I try to get the bartender's attention (the same way I see others do it), but they either don't notice me or flat-out ignore me. Why? Won't I be giving money when I buy the drink? Do I have a "wrong" look on my face? Am I standing the "wrong" way? And why do they even care about that?

I've taken to subtracting $0.50 from the tip for every 5 minutes they make me wait (allowing for conditions such as how many people are waiting). Also, I just pour some rum into a Coke bottle, and drink it before entering the club. It's not so much the money (although it's a nice bonus), but the way the bartenders always ignore me. At the very least, I get a small sense of satisfaction in knowing that they're not getting my money that night.

I found that waving a $20 bill is often quite helpful in attracting a bartender's attention. But that doesn't work 100% of the time.

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes - often, infact - it feels like I'm invisible standing at a bar. Money in hand usually works, and that's what I've taken to doing when I'm paying by cash, but I carry cash so rarely now that that doesn't work so well (then again, I go to bars a lot more rarely now also).

For me, it's more the problem of looking 15 when you're actually 23.

Never wave money. Don't call out or yell.
I make eye contact and smile or nod. I take out the cash and hold it visibly under my hand. If the bar is near empty and I"m sitting, I just place the money in front of me. I keep eye contact or keep looking at the bartender's head until they ask me what I want.
Waving money may have gotten you blackballed or on someone's "s**t list". Once a guy (that I didn't know or speak to) yelled for me and I got blamed for it and the bartender threw my change back to me. She was very rude. Telling her it wasn't me would have been an argument (and I could have gotten kicked out), apologizing would have been admitting that I was at fault. So, I sucked it up until she moved on.

Bartenders can be touchy because A) they're looking out for dangerous drunks B)they're wanting good tippers C)they're acting "cool".

I aggree with Kim J, I too have been ignored quite a bit at bars and I think alot of it has to do with body language and lack of eye contact. I have not been to a bar in almost a year because I find the collage drunks to be too roudy and loud, I would much rather go to a friends house or chill at home, or go have a fire in the woods and drink when the weather improves.

Does anybody feel that you are exclusivly ignored and everyone else who stepps up gets served, I felt like that several times, and I really think its because of how you present yourself, simple. Its very interesting this topic was brought up cause I always wondered what I was doing wrong, until now...

Eh? Tipping at a bar? How strange. Just buy your beer and move on.

you have to be assertive if its busy. i think this is the appropriate body language;

-lean forward,
-keep them in the periphery when their busy concentrating a task, but as soon as they move attempt to make eye contact.
-when you make eye-contact, make some sort of facial gesture. (nod, smile etc)

that said, i think feeling assertive is equally important, and usually overlooked. people tend to focus on body language, but telepathy can be equally as important imo. If your giving out the right vibes, people are more likely to notice you.

Just this afternoon I went into a pub where my friend was waiting by the bar (the only one in there) and the bartender was just pouring her vodka/coke.

I stood next to her, tenner in hand, blatantly waiting my turn.

Another group of people rocked on up and he finished my friend's drink, then looked at me, blanked me, and turned to serve the group of six who'd just arrived!!

They disappeared, and I was still standing there. He then finally served me. So I asked for something that I couldn't see behind the bar but that they must have had, thus making him run upstairs or to the cellar or somewhere to find it, purely to piss him off.



It happens so often I'm used to it now. I don't think it's the AS as I'm always with a big group of NTs and they all get served, I appear and act no different (well, possibly act slightly different but not much) so it's a little annoying.

I find if you have money in your hand (not waving it, just there and visible) it helps, or tapping a debit card on the bar so they can see and hear it...

I wish they had drink machines instead of bartenders...

I still don't have much luck at Bars... I look old enough but I'm not usually aggressive enough to shove the meatheads who push in away.

This sounds familiar...! I've always hated going up to a bar for this very reason; I seem to become invisible as soon as I step up to it.

And once they've finally noticed me, we then have to go through the whole repeating my order because I can't hear them properly above the background hubbub thing; them repeating how much I owe, ditto; and the physical clumsiness thing where putting my change away, picking up my drink(s), turning around and actually leaving the bar seems to take ages and require far more room for my elbows than normal mortals need.

I don't go to the pub much - I prefer to stay at home and be clumsy in the comfort of my own living room!

I don't go to bars, but if they're being that asinine (or serving a large group that arrived after you before you), just make a bit of a commotion: "Hey! I've been standing around trying to give this place some of my hard-earned money, but it's just not working," or anything similar. I would probably be quite blunt and simply walk right up to one of the bartenders and ask for a drink if I wasn't being served. I've actually had to do something similar at a restaurant one time (as you can imagine, the service was much more prompt afterwards!).

In the US I did not have any problems with getting my drinks, since I am taller than the average American.

At home in my favourite place I do not have any problem, strange places sometimes cost a bit of time; but making eye contact and having cash ready works most of the times.

When you bring your own glasses back, then they are really helpful and help you ahead of others.