Page 1 of 2 [ 26 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

wellywomble
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 24 Mar 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Female
Posts: 44
Location: UK

25 Mar 2008, 10:15 pm

Hello, I'm new.
I'm undiagnosed as yet but have thought I'm as aspie for over three years now, so much makes sense now whereas it didn't before.
The only thing that makes me doubt my self diagnosis in the fact that it's my dream to fall in love and have a family.
All the aspies I've known in real life just aren't interested in this. I know everyone is different but does the fact that I hope to raise a family one day suggest I'm not an aspie after all?
Many thanks.



jason_b1980
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jul 2007
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 90
Location: Ohio

25 Mar 2008, 10:25 pm

All people are different and want different things, so just because you want a family doesn't mean you are not an aspie. For several years I didn't want people around, nor did I want a family of my own, but after I broke up with my ex-girlfriend (first real girlfriend), I have found that I do want a family(although maybe not have my own kids) in the near future, and do like having people around more than I thought.



spudnik
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Feb 2008
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,992
Location: Calgary, Alberta Canada

25 Mar 2008, 10:57 pm

You want a family, you can have mine :wink:



richardbenson
Xfractor Card #351
Xfractor Card #351

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2006
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,553
Location: Leave only a footprint behind

25 Mar 2008, 11:01 pm

i go by what my lord has said:

29. Jesus said, "If the flesh came into being because of spirit, that is a marvel, but if spirit came into being because of the body, that is a marvel of marvels.
Yet I marvel at how this great wealth has come to dwell in this poverty."
30. Jesus said, "Where there are three deities, they are divine. Where there are two or one, I am with that one."
49. Jesus said, "Congratulations to those who are alone and chosen, for you will find the kingdom. For you have come from it, and you will return there again."



mikebw
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Sep 2007
Age: 47
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,283
Location: Florida

25 Mar 2008, 11:39 pm

There are people here that do seem to want a family, or more correctly a life partner. Not so many women as men, though.


_________________
The world under heaven, after a long period of division, tends to unite; after a long period of union, tends to divide. This has been so since antiquity.

http://www.imdb.com/user/ur3140151/ratings = My Movie Vote History


Greentea
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 14 Jun 2007
Age: 64
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,745
Location: Middle East

26 Mar 2008, 12:41 am

spudnik wrote:
You want a family, you can have mine :wink:


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

And mine!!


_________________
So-called white lies are like fake jewelry. Adorn yourself with them if you must, but expect to look cheap to a connoisseur.


gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

26 Mar 2008, 1:19 am

I'm aspie, I fell in love, I got a family and two aspie (well, one aspie and one HFA) kids.

It's not outside the criteria.

BTW: Welcome :)



juancho
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 4 Aug 2006
Age: 101
Gender: Male
Posts: 66
Location: New Zealand

26 Mar 2008, 2:21 am

I always wanted a wife and family.

Almost sixty years ago (in 1949) my wife and I were married; we had 5 children and now have 9 grandchildren. (No more g-children likely!) We were divorced almost 35 years ago after about 25 years of marriage. Neither of us has remarried.

Quite some time ago my ex-wife was DXed with schizophrenia; neuroses have dogged her for a long time, possibly for all her life. (She has an IQ of 158.) I first read about AS about 5 years ago and immediately recognised the source of some, if not most, of my own life-long problems. I can now understand that I was responsible for at least 50 % of our marital difficulties, whereas until my Eureka! moment concerning AS I generously attributed the major part of our problems to my wife.

All our 5 children seem to be OK mentally. While there have been three divorces among them, they all live generally happy lives. Some of the g'children have problems: one g'child is so shy that he hardly ventures from home, yet he seems to have an eidetic memory and has wide intellectual interests. (His sister seems perfectly normal.) The child in another family has been diagnosed with abnormal anxiety. And still another has SIDS (sensory integration dysfunction syndrome) but manages well enough to be in a class for gifted children.

Would I go through it all again? Yes, I would, but that answer isn't for everybody.



woodsman25
Supporting Member
Supporting Member

User avatar

Joined: 18 May 2007
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,064
Location: NY

26 Mar 2008, 3:33 am

My untimate dream is to find that special girl and raise a family, but connecting at that level is the only problem with my ASD that I simply have not found a way to conqure. Its quite depressing, having to come to terms with the fact that I will never grow old with someone I love and never have children of my own. I will probably die alone and I have struggled to come to terms with that and just cant.

My only other option now is to adopt, I may not have a wife but I can do some good in this messed up world and give a child in need a chance at having a better life, perhapse that is my destiny, idk?!


_________________
DX'ed with HFA as a child. However this was in 1987 and I am certain had I been DX'ed a few years later I would have been DX'ed with AS instead.


gbollard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Oct 2007
Age: 59
Gender: Male
Posts: 4,009
Location: Sydney, Australia

26 Mar 2008, 6:55 pm

Adopt if you want, but 25 is still young.

I was 31 when I had my first child.



jawbrodt
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jan 2008
Age: 51
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,766
Location: Eastern USA

26 Mar 2008, 7:14 pm

I think alot of us would like to have families, but, we know that we are practically incapable of leading that lifestyle. For most of us, it's just a dream, that, we will most likely, never achieve. Some of us are able though....


_________________
Those who speak, don't know.

Those who know, don't speak.


aspergian_mutant
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2004
Age: 64
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,510

26 Mar 2008, 9:20 pm

I to have always wanted that my friend,
but every relationship I have been in never lasts,
the girls most always end up with the children when its over be they aspi them selves or not,
A large part of me wanted children in hopes that they could help fill my life,
I gave up on relationships, thats one of the reasons I am fighting so hard to keep my son,
but as socially inept as I am its hard, the court system is not built for us.



SilverProteus
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Jul 2007
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,915
Location: Somewhere Over The Rainbow

26 Mar 2008, 9:25 pm

Greentea wrote:
spudnik wrote:
You want a family, you can have mine :wink:


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

And mine!!


Mine's for sale!


_________________
"Lightning is but a flicker of light, punctuated on all sides by darkness." - Loki


Age1600
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Apr 2007
Age: 41
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,028
Location: New Jersey

26 Mar 2008, 10:30 pm

I want a family one day, even though my diagnosis is just autism, i have a boyfriend who plans to have a family as well. Don't ever let people make you think you cant do what you want, you can do anythign if u put ur mind to it. I'm deathly afraid to be a mother, but i still want to be and i will ten times harder just to make sure that child is happy and healthy.


_________________
Being Normal Is Vastly Overrated :wall:


TheDoctor82
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2008
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,400
Location: Sandusky, Ohio

27 Mar 2008, 1:22 am

I definitely want a family one day- and still do believe that my girlfriend is "the one". Now, I'll be 26 in a few days...I don't even want to tie the knot until I'm in my very early '30s at least, then maybe wait a few more years for kids.

I want to make sure I'm a bit more mature, and have more time to mature in my relationship with my love; I also want to make sure we're both much more financially sound than we currently are.



Brandon-J
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Mar 2008
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 669
Location: North Carolina, USA

27 Mar 2008, 1:37 am

I would like an family so sure and live a life like everybody else. But i know that isn't very possible becuz of me having aspergers. I just appear too strange and quiet to have a girlfriend. If I ever had one then you have to meet her family and such and get along with them which will set my anxiety up alot. Because I don't really talk much to my own family so how I do I expect to get to know her family? Also the responsiblity of raising a child. I don't think I could fit the father role emotionally.It just seems out of reach to have a family....