Is therapy supposed to be like this
So, I finally got therapy on the NHS, not for Aspergers, but for Reactive Attachment Disorder.
So, theres this young Polish Woman, she didnt even want to read my Childrens Society notes, all she does is sit there, looking at the floor and says, "Whats on your mind"?.
Ok, so the first few seccions, I had something to talk about, my Childhood, how I view relationships, etc, but Ive run out of things to say, she just says, "tell me what your thinking about, whats on your mind, so Ive told her I have symtoms of Aspergers, that the only things on my mind are my special interests of Motorcycles, the New Wolrd Order and religion, hardly relivant and I can see shes bored,
So it gets that my mind just goes totally blank and she wil say "Yes", "tell me whats on your mind", and I say "nothing", my minds totally blank and Iam just looking at the doorframe".
Last session was 15 minutes of us both just sitting there not hardly saying a word, in fact she got annoyed when I tried to make conversation by asking if people in Poland ate dandelions, that made me totaly clam up.
Iam thinking of giving it up, I could get just as much response telling my life story to the fridge.
Arnt these professionals supposed to be able to draw you out or something with questions?, all she can say is, "whats on you mind", maybe thats the only English she knows?
It depends on the type of therapy you are involved in. One of my therapists sat their the ENTIRE time, just nodding his head. Rarely, if ever, did he make a comment or helpful suggestion, or even ask questions. I did this for years...and got NOTHING out of it.
I've got more out of my therapist who actually gives me tips and suggestions on how to deal with some of my problems.
So, what I"m saying is...that therapist might do one type of therapy only...which may not help you. Find someone else. I hate "Analysis" therapy. It's useless. (to me anyhow). I've had a better response from talking to a helpful friend.
I also go to AA, and talking with my sponsor gives me more insight and help than some of the therapists I've had.
My own therapist (whom is great) told me that I was by far the least talkative patient she had. My guess is that many therapists are used to your average NT patient who just use therapy as a time to rant and it throws them off if you don't have anything to say or need coaxing to say something. I'd find a new therapist and make sure to interview them before hand and bring this very subject up with them before you pay any money.
My therapist always asks me what is on my mind. I always have something to say. My mind is racing 24/7. The therpaist wants to know what bugs you or is a part of your life. If she knows what is on your mind it means it pertains to your life. Even a general problem is good to talk about. You have to work with your therapist to get anywhere. She can't just pull your mind out of a hat and learn everything she needs to know.
YOU need to open up and help her understand YOU.
The term therapist is often unregulated. Even if I hadn't taken the intro to psychology class I am nearly done with, I could right now set up a therapy practice. And for all intents and purposes I would be considered an actual therapist.
You need to find someone who either has a degree in a psychological field, or has a good enough reputation to warrant such a degree unnecessary. It seems your therapist is not really qualified at all. I suggest finding someone else who at least has some sort of a psychology degree.
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The improbable goal: Fear nothing, hate nothing, and let nothing anger you.
I can relate to this, I had therapy from the NHS for years but they always take to long to make an actually appointment, they only give u certain number of sessions and by the time they make contact ur likely to committed suicide or gone into depression.
I went to them over anxiety disorder and a vomit phobia, and i had to wait to long for service, and i never felt they helped. I went private, to a clinical phyclojist, it cost a £70 a hour but that was because he is good, but it was too expensive and i dont seem to get on with men so i moved to a CBT cognitive behavioural theorpist, and we've bonded she's £40 quid for an hour and i really like her.
I worry about the money, but my parents asure me that even though its expensive its worth it to get me healthy
i really think you should consider going private you have more say about who you go to and choosing your people and when your appointments can be.
if u dont want to , i suggest requesting to be transferred to another person, your allowed to do this, i did this once because i thought the guy they gave me was an a**hole.
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I'm fed up of explaining after every post, I have dyslexia so sometimes my spelling and punctuation is off. I do use spell check doesn't always work...
YOU need to open up and help her understand YOU.
That is a good point, I always prepare for each session by finding one thing that I would like to talk about. That one thing usually develops into an entire hour long conversation that may or may not move to other topics. I find that this website is a great tool to find things to talk about. People are always bringing up common difficulties of AS and when I find one that pertains to me I make a quick note of the topic and take it in with me.
Brittany2907
The ultimate storm is eternally on it's
Joined: 9 Jun 2007
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,718
Location: New Zealand
So, theres this young Polish Woman, she didnt even want to read my Childrens Society notes, all she does is sit there, looking at the floor and says, "Whats on your mind"?.
Ok, so the first few seccions, I had something to talk about, my Childhood, how I view relationships, etc, but Ive run out of things to say, she just says, "tell me what your thinking about, whats on your mind, so Ive told her I have symtoms of Aspergers, that the only things on my mind are my special interests of Motorcycles, the New Wolrd Order and religion, hardly relivant and I can see shes bored,
So it gets that my mind just goes totally blank and she wil say "Yes", "tell me whats on your mind", and I say "nothing", my minds totally blank and Iam just looking at the doorframe".
Last session was 15 minutes of us both just sitting there not hardly saying a word, in fact she got annoyed when I tried to make conversation by asking if people in Poland ate dandelions, that made me totaly clam up.
Iam thinking of giving it up, I could get just as much response telling my life story to the fridge.
Arnt these professionals supposed to be able to draw you out or something with questions?, all she can say is, "whats on you mind", maybe thats the only English she knows?
Therapy is supposed to be the patient and therapist working together to help solve and work through the patients issues...not the therapist asking..."whats on your mind?" all the time!
Get another therapist...your current one has no idea what she is doing.
_________________
I = Vegan!
Animals = Friends.
Spend your money on a door frame or fridge instead. (Or find a therapist.)
No, actually, that is not what therapy is supposed to be like. Not at all. I'm sorry if this was your experience, but there are many good psychologists about there who actually do help people. My parents are both psychologists and many of their friends are psychologists, so I know what I am talking about.
Spend your money on a door frame or fridge instead. (Or find a therapist.)
No, actually, that is not what therapy is supposed to be like. Not at all. I'm sorry if this was your experience, but there are many good psychologists about there who actually do help people. My parents are both psychologists and many of their friends are psychologists, so I know what I am talking about.
I guess as an analogy you could say "doctors do want to save people, how could you live if that heart was made of styrofoam?"
I personally don't trust "mental health professionals" though. Just me.
YOU need to open up and help her understand YOU.
Find a professional.
So, theres this young Polish Woman, she didnt even want to read my Childrens Society notes, all she does is sit there, looking at the floor and says, "Whats on your mind"?.
Ok, so the first few seccions, I had something to talk about, my Childhood, how I view relationships, etc, but Ive run out of things to say, she just says, "tell me what your thinking about, whats on your mind, so Ive told her I have symtoms of Aspergers, that the only things on my mind are my special interests of Motorcycles, the New Wolrd Order and religion, hardly relivant and I can see shes bored,
So it gets that my mind just goes totally blank and she wil say "Yes", "tell me whats on your mind", and I say "nothing", my minds totally blank and Iam just looking at the doorframe".
Last session was 15 minutes of us both just sitting there not hardly saying a word, in fact she got annoyed when I tried to make conversation by asking if people in Poland ate dandelions, that made me totaly clam up.
Iam thinking of giving it up, I could get just as much response telling my life story to the fridge.
Arnt these professionals supposed to be able to draw you out or something with questions?, all she can say is, "whats on you mind", maybe thats the only English she knows?
This describes my experience exactly. I said everything I could possibly think of in the first few sessions, and I'm expected to go back with nothing to say. It's so wierd, and I usually state that I don't understand how to answer the question.
Liopleurodon
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 16 Jan 2008
Age: 45
Gender: Female
Posts: 196
Location: The Tethys Sea
Ugh! I've been to see just the same sort of therapist. It doesn't work for me either. Come to think of it, just going somewhere and talking about me doesn't help me much. I tend to end up sitting in silence and staring at the floor. The fact is that I find it extremely difficult to articulate what I'm feeling - sometimes I don't even know myself. The only thing that I ever really want to talk about is my current obsession. I've never understood the fixation on telling other people all of your thoughts and feelings. A problem shared isn't a problem halved - it's the same problem it was before, but now two people know about it. Big deal.
CBT worked much better for me because I had an understanding of what it was I was supposed to do. Somehow having therapy that was focused on actively doing certain things worked much, much better for me than vaguely talking about things.
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GizmoGirl
Snowy Owl
Joined: 2 Oct 2007
Age: 43
Gender: Female
Posts: 168
Location: Florida/New york hometown
A really good therapist would help you find topics to talk about. I see a really cool therapist. After about 3 vists I feel really comfy with him and feel like I can talk about anything..Even though I still cant look at him just yet its getting better...I did open up to a new person other then my family and that felt strange but good at the same time.......A Therapist should be
Friendly
Warm
Inviting
understanding
Unbasis
able to help you find solutions
and above all able to help you talk about topics if you cant find something to talk about and be patient with you
I say tell her to go F herself and find yourself a new person! ![]()
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~I have autism, whats your exuse?~
~"S&M is an art. Doing it well requires more than a bag full of expensive whips and ropes, a closet full of fetish clothes, or a basement filled with bondage furniture." De Sade~
She rang me up this morning to say, "Whats on your mind", no, sorry that bit was a joke, she rang me up to confirm she had booked the room for next Tuesday, I said, "well actually I was thinking I dont really want to do it anymore", she said, "why, whats happened", I told her I found the pressure to talk unpleasant" etc, anyway, she said I should still attend next Tuesday to discuss it,
I wonder what she will say?
Thanks for all your helpfull replies by the way.
Also, as its on the NHS, I dont have to pay any money.
Iam also thinking Its a waste of time as I dont even meet anybody to fail at a relationship with anymore, not since I passed 35.
At least I wont be wishing I had therapy when I was younger as it probably wouldnt have made the slightest bit of differance.
