Influencing People Individually

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Even though you may not be good in a group, how good are you at being able to influence people individually to your point of view? I have always been better with people individually than when they are in a group.

I would be shocked to discover I had influenced anybody to any point of view.

When someone is truly open and listening to me, they are usually swayed in the direction of my gist to some, and usually to a large extent. I would suppose the reason to be that i really don't state anything as fact unless i have obsessively studied it and am thoroughly convinced myself. No bragging here, it's not due to any personal effort, but people have referred to me as "knowing my stuff" and suggested i should become a doctor and the like. It certainly is not my non-existent sparkling personality that does it! Maybe the calm, logical feel helps, too. I don't 'freak out' if they verbalize a disagreement. I simply acknowledge the whys of their point of view and proceed from there.

Edit after reading more posts: Sorry, forgot about the group part of the question. Influence a group? Not really, no; certainly not a group of peers. I may have influenced a few youth in a group at times, but have no way of knowing.

Last edited by deadpanhead on 23 May 2008, 4:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I once convinced some christian fundie that I was the second coming of christ.... for about 15 minutes.

I have never influenced anybody to do anything for any reason whatsoever. The only influence I can say I have ever had is at work. The reason is that the quality of my work has always been so far beyond what the NT's can do. Management likes this because I make them money. Outside of that nope, never.

I also have never influenced anyone. I used to have a friend who I really admired - she seemed to be the nicest person in the world and Id have done anything for her. When she was no longer my friend, I realised that she was also the most manipulative person in the world. She can get anyone to do anything for her - simply by force of personality and being nice to people. I even believe that she doesnt actually realise that this is why things go right for her so often, she doesnt consciously go out to manipulate people.

Me on the other hand, has no idea at all how to manipulate people. Ive tried being nice to people and only end up getting used or told that I am bothering people too much.

I can. I need a one-on-one and face-to-face situation.

But I suppose it would be more accurate to say it's manipulation rather than only influence if I make somebody believe something I want.

I did not take the question to mean anything about manipulation. If that is the case it would change my answer. If you look at the meanings of these two words, i think you see that there is a difference. Influence has a positive connotation and manipulation a negative one. I believe manipulation to have a self-seeking motive that uses affect on others' behavior to one's own personal benefit and others' detriment. Influence, however, i take to be motivated by desire to share potentially helpful facts and opinions.

Occasionally I can be persuasive, but I rarely have any interest in influencing people as I prefer to do things myself.

Manipulation is the conscious, intentional short-circuiting of others' emotions to affect a desired outcome. The difference is the audience probably would not be persuaded if all the facts were presented transparently. Note that facts and even logical argument can be a part of this (in an attempt to appear reasonable and objective). Rhetoric and B.S. are pretty much synonyms for this.