I've spotted an Asperger - Should I tell him ?

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Since i met him, i knew he had some of the special trait i have. Now that i know about Asperger it has clarify my view of it and i am now certain he is an Aspie too. Maybe he is diagnosed and know it since years, but maybe i does not have a clue and keeps asking himself what the problem is ?

Frist of all, should i talked about that with him ? If you think it is a good idea, how sould i begin ? Should i go strait at him and talked about it ? Should i just leave clues so he can find them and do his own research after that ? Should i just continue my life without bothering about that ?

BTW: he is around 35 and he is a co-worker. I am not really friend with him but we did work on the same project together a couple of time. Nothing more than that.

I'm in the same boat as you. I'm CONVINCED my friend has AS. If there's a such thing as a "textbook case" of AS, he's it. I've known him for nearly 20 years. I also know him well enough to know that if I brought it up he'd blow his stack.

He's a great friend, (my very best friend in fact), but I know what lines I shouldn't cross with him, and this is one.

If he's just a coworker and not a close friend, I'd advise not saying anything. If he takes it badly, it could make working with him awkward.

I am wondering how this compares with other types of people. Would you say "I saw a gay person today, should I tell him?" Or "I saw a christian today should I tell him"?

sorry, mrZ - i don't get your point. could you explain, please?

V

NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO LOOK AUTISTIC HAVE AUTISM.
It's like my multiracial friend. I used to think that he was Black until I found out that he was mixed Latino. It's like not all gay people act gay, and some straight guys (metro sexuals) act gay. People who look or act autistic might be ADD, OCD, Depressed, or anything else. A *lot* of AS/HFA people can pass for ADHD, and a lot of ADHD people can pass for Autistic.

I don't think its comparable at all with a gay or other type. If someone had come to me and told me "Have you ever consider looking into AS ?" I would have thought "What's that ?". And after a quick look on Google, I would have found the answers i was looking for for years. That person would have helped me so much.

"NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO LOOK AUTISTIC HAVE AUTISM."

That's why i'm asking for advices. Even though i'm sure about him, it's still a delicate thing....

I know a lady at my work who I'm almost certian has AS - she has many of the same traits I do, including a sence of humor that will have me unplugging my headset because I'm laughing so hard, when everyone else in the room is looking at us like we are insane . . .

If the issue ever comes up I may mention it to her, but, realistically, there is no way to go up to a causal aquaintance and say 'Did you ever think you might be autistic? No, don't take that the wrong way, because I am and you remind me of me . . .' - it just wouldn't go well . . .

I think that the issue of telling someone about having AS is more about the relief that many of us felt in finding out - and we are wondering if other people might feel the same relief . . .

I don't think it's right going around diagnosing people. Think of it in their point of view, if someone came upto me and started telling me what's wrong with me, I'd not take them seriously.

It isn't really anyones business except their Doctors or Family.

I agree.

However, I think that if you're close to someone and are fairly certain you can trust them, you can tell them about your AS and how it effects you. If they also have AS, they may disclose that information with you, too. Or, if they are undiagnosed and they recognize traits in themselves from your description, they then have the choice to follow it up themselves or not.

Hi,

How about this?.... If he's your friend for a long time you could
tell him that you believe you have AS & it was a relief finally
finding out about PDD. Then lend him a book about AS.

4 things could happen:

1. he disappears forever, together with your book! Yes, he's AS allright!
but he's relatively young & the truth is just too painful! Like a true
aspie, he finds a new group of friends. When he's 50 he'll return
your book with thanks!

2. he returns the book to you & say, 'Now I understand who you
are, finally! No matter what, I'll stand by you!' He becomes so
concerned about you- like a good aspie should be- that it takes
time to sink in that the book also applies to him!

3. the book finally comes around to your house by a different person!
You hurt your friend's feeling- aspies are very emotional! - by
insinuating he's crazy!

4. within a week he brings the book back to you with tears in his eyes!
It's like Revelation to him; at last he knows the truth about himself!
' I'm 51 & only now I know why I don't fit!'

Peace

that comes bac

That is my point Talideradical.

Sensible (hello goodbuddy; I thought you'd retired! I have a friend who'd like to meet you. PM me for details.)

What is meant exactly by a classic case? By the DSM definition it is physically impossible to meet all the criteria! If one has not understood this, one should be cautious about handing out gratuitous diagnoses? Note too that we all have a natural tendency to assume our own particular mix is the real thing. By all means help someone less experienced in life who seems to be struggling needlessly, but if they are more experienced, and not struggling?

I rarely say anything, even when I know 99.8% for sure somebody is AS. This is because implying anybody has anything (autism, ADHD, etc.) seems to be a big social no-no. The one person that I even mentioned it to's response was: "I'm not ret*d! Who are you to tell me that?!" so I kinda avoided that person. One person did tell me I seemed like an Aspie, and he was an Aspie himself. However, I already was dx'ed, so the conversation didn't affect me much.

Why would you?

why don't you just say the truth and say "you remind me of an aspie" next time he does something aspie like. you can gauge is response from that. if he inquires about what it means, explain it...but like...in a fun way! don't "call him out" so much as mention it.