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KikiKitty678
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21 Apr 2019, 7:31 am

People sometimes share TMI, but I feel like it’s different when Aspies do it. When NTs do it, it usually seems to involve...ahem...adult issues. Sharing any other kind of TMI, that has to do with PG things, seems to be an Aspie behavior.

Does anyone else agree with this?



WallflowerAsparagus
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21 Apr 2019, 7:51 am

I lately find whenever one of my friends shares an adult TMI thing, if I do the same and share an adult TMI thing, suddenly it's weird and I'm told "TMI!", like I've said something bad. :?
Do they mean that I shouldn't be sharing or are they just being fun? That's what confuses me about this.
Maybe they think kinky Aspies are weird as hell. :lol:

I haven't encountered this in the way you are meaning it - I have not shared a PG Aspie thing.


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shortfatbalduglyman
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21 Apr 2019, 6:56 pm

Yes but the NT definition of "TMI" is different from the autistic definition



breaks0
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21 Apr 2019, 7:23 pm

Questions. What is adult TMI or could you give a few examples?

What is PG TMI, like what you ate for lunch or something?

And how does the NT definition of TMI differ from the ASD one?



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21 Apr 2019, 7:29 pm

What is PG in this context?



KikiKitty678
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21 Apr 2019, 8:26 pm

breaks0 wrote:
Questions. What is adult TMI or could you give a few examples?

What is PG TMI, like what you ate for lunch or something?

And how does the NT definition of TMI differ from the ASD one?


Adult TMI is anything you wouldn’t want to put in a kids’ movie if someone said it on screen—I won’t give examples *blushing*. PG TMI is anything else that most people would consider TMI, e.g., “I ate an entire family size bag of chips by myself” or “my room is a pig sty”!



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21 Apr 2019, 8:45 pm

I think what they are calling TMI is what we refer to as perseveration.


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22 Apr 2019, 2:48 am

shortfatbalduglyman wrote:
Yes but the NT definition of "TMI" is different from the autistic definition


This.

I often find questions that are considered polite and friendly to be intrusive, and sometimes the type of precise, concrete answers I give seem to confuse and occasionally upset people. A good friend of mine says "don't ask Bender anything unless you really want to know what he thinks". Well, duh...


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22 Apr 2019, 3:35 am

What is TMI? Too Much Information?

If so, that's always a big problem for me, when I try to share something it always seems to make people uncomfortable, like I've overshared. But NTs seem to be able to do it without any problem ?!
I have no idea how it's supposed to be done :scratch:



NeilM
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22 Apr 2019, 8:48 pm

Yes, TMI = Too Much Information

Unfortunately what happens too frequently is that we get a reputation of speaking at greater length than people expect. (Known as perseverating.) Then even if our utterance consists of only one sentence, they have already tuned us out. I don't know anything that can be done about it.

I have gotten to the point that I let others talk most of the time and if they ask me something then I give a brief answer. If my answer doesn't satisfy them, they can ask more questions.


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Diamondisis
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23 Apr 2019, 12:45 am

I guess an example of TMI could be when I told the cashier at the gas station that I was making Antilope stir fry for dinner that night, it wasn't exactly super personal or anything, but on the other hand there was really no reason for him to need to know that either



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23 Apr 2019, 1:45 am

When I hear TMI, I don't think over sharing (as in too many details).
I think sharing too personal stuff with people you don't know well enough (like things of sexual or medical issues, or things about other people, like family, spouse or friends). Inappropriate behavior, not mere info dumping.


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WallflowerAsparagus
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23 Apr 2019, 3:33 am

MrsPeel wrote:
What is TMI? Too Much Information?

If so, that's always a big problem for me, when I try to share something it always seems to make people uncomfortable, like I've overshared. But NTs seem to be able to do it without any problem ?!
I have no idea how it's supposed to be done :scratch:


I'm in the same boat!


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23 Apr 2019, 5:57 am

Skilpadde wrote:
When I hear TMI, I don't think over sharing (as in too many details).
I think sharing too personal stuff with people you don't know well enough (like things of sexual or medical issues, or things about other people, like family, spouse or friends). Inappropriate behavior, not mere info dumping.



That's what it is for NT's. I agree.


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23 Apr 2019, 6:27 am

WallflowerAsparagus wrote:
MrsPeel wrote:
What is TMI? Too Much Information?

If so, that's always a big problem for me, when I try to share something it always seems to make people uncomfortable, like I've overshared. But NTs seem to be able to do it without any problem ?!
I have no idea how it's supposed to be done :scratch:


I'm in the same boat!


Just be yourself. Don't be too graphic and use the KISS rule. Keep it short and simple. Don't discuss sex, bodily functions, anyone elses private information, or your own personal details with acquaintances or strangers.

With one on one friends you can be freer if you are certain that they are trustworthy.
Don't be ashamed that you are different, own your difference and don't apologise for it.
Different doesn't mean worse or less valuable.

NT's are all different.Some are fanatically private and others wear their hearts on their sleeves. Meaning that they are an open book to all, which is risky but can promote intimacy with the right people. If someone repeatedly loses eye contact and looks around the room restlessly when you are speaking or gets fidgety then they have heard enough. Tact is essential. Don't bring up anything personal about the person you are conversing with, or anyone else, because that's gossip and that's harmful to others.

A good tactic is to ask the person that you are conversing with a short, non- invasive question to keep the conversation going when you have finished speaking. Perhaps about their work or what they like. :)


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23 Apr 2019, 3:09 pm

A good idea is to only share gossip about people you know less well than the person you're talking to. My stepdad doesn't follow that so relative strangers know all our business.

When it comes to your own information, of course you can share what you like but it's probably not safe to do that. Just keep to the sort of info which is relatively boring or which you would actually want someone to know about you - yes you'll be accused of humblebragging but it's better that than strangers and acquaintances know all your details especially when they may turn out to be 'frenemies' later.

Wait for them to make the first move and then share at the same level they're doing.

Of course I don't follow these rules myself or at least I didn't used to and online I still struggle with it. It feels like 'lying' to only give small answers. Actual lying feels really immoral.

But this is what to do if you want to get by with NTs and has the added benefit of making it harder to have anyone hurt you socially.