Rage

Post Reply New Topic

Do any of you have problems with rage?

To include personal attacks, profanity, obscene gestures, writing rants on websites (to include this and others), and even some ideation?

I wish I didn't have this problem. I feel so much worse after. It seems there are many things I can't let go of.

What helps you deal with rage, flashbacks of bad/traumatic memories and people, and just jerks in general?

I either use my blog for that or open word pad or Microsoft word and write it out. I have posted politically incorrect stuff there and have never shared the blog with anyone except certain people. I am sure some here have seen it because there is a way to find it.

Sometimes I still rage on public forums and then I take it to my blog. I still haven't figured out yet how to deal with flashbacks and anything that reminds me of my ex boyfriends or *Frankie. Perhaps counseling will do if this keeps getting worse. I get tired of all these angry feelings.

Yes. I was always a very angry kid, mostly due to bullying. I would chase bullies shouting profanity and death threats, because I just wanted them to leave me alone. But of course that made me look like I was the bully, so I'd get in trouble, which only made me more angry because I was not trying to hurt anyone, I was trying to defend myself. I never actually hit anyone, I just threatened them to scare them away. I got sent to anger management therapy, where they treated me like I was a psychopath or something. They threatened to bring in security on me multiple times, and I was a little 8 year old kid. I was only getting angry because they were asking me questions about the things that made me mad (bullies), which triggered the same reaction when I remembered them and tried to describe them.

I avoided peers enough later on that I haven't had too many recent memories of bullies and jerks that trigger me like that, though there are a few. I just avoid talking or thinking about them as much as possible. But even when I do, I am rarely so outwardly aggressive, because I would get in trouble. I have written quite a few rants on websites and in my journal (I really hate that journal now) as well as sending lots of angry emails and texts to a girl who was really horrible to me. I still have a hard time letting a lot of stuff from the past go. I have also definitely made very paranoid accusations in my anger, mostly as a kid though. I was pretty sensitive from the bullying, if a kid accidentally bumped me or even looked at me in a way that made me think he was attacking me or planning to, I'd freak out and start yelling at him to leave me alone. I am not nearly that bad now, though I have occasionally made pretty ridiculous accusations of others' intent, and only later realized my mistake.

The best way I deal with it is distractions, and just wait til it passes. I will watch episodes of a show or play a video game, or think about something interesting, or other similar things to block out the repeating angry thoughts. Usually this is after the fact though, I still haven't figured out a way to remain very calm in situations as they happen.

I kind of wish I did have problems with rage; the things you described sound like a way to deal with the anger, and maybe the behavior would get people to stop trying to take advantage of me. I just keep it all rolling around inside of me, unable to forget or reach any closure, and lacking the sort of temperament or having too much self-control to go insane.

I have had that in cases where people really wronged me & it can last years. All I can say is that it does diminish in time concerning specific people or incidents. To the point of no longer thinking about it. I sometimes believe part of it is how I dealt with the problem originally, which tends to be avoidant. If I had been more direct in response/confrontation perhaps it might not have grated on me so long. So maybe one can not go back and fix old issues but can improve how one deals with new ones and do that in a way that makes it not fester in the mind, an unresolved wrong.

Yes, I have a lot of anger but I usually manage to keep in inside. Sometimes I can't stop thinking about events (bullying, etc) that happened years ago, and feeling like I want to get revenge on the people who hurt me. I agree with the above poster that maybe if I had taken action then, by hitting them or something, I probably wouldn't dwell on it so much now. It's the sense of injustice and the fact that they got away with it that bugs me.

Like League Girl, I write it out. That works well for me. Sometimes I don't finish because after a couple of pages, I'm over it.

But as for rage in the moment, I learned a neat trick a few years back. When you're in rage, all that adrenalin can go to a few places. The most common is into reactive mode. Quite by accident, I discovered that in the heat of it, my mind is able to think more quickly, with faster logic if I let it. So I kind of convert the emotional energy into 'combat logic' and turn it into a minor victory instead of an embarrassing loss. It doesn't always work, especially if I'm fatigued, but it has helped a lot.

Yes, usually against myself and I don't know why. I don't like myself that much.

I have allot of rage and find it hard to express it. It just builds up for years and then eventually I will just explode. Last year this happened and I just started getting angry at everyone and everything. I yelled at the cashiers in the stores, I called crisis lines and yelled at them. I yelled and threw things in my house. I was just so angry, This lasted almost 6 months and I was hospitalized 5 times. I'm fine now but can tell its building again. I keep wishing a co worker would have a heart attack and die. She is really mean to me.

I channel the rage into helping other people. I also listen to angry music. Those are the two positive ways I deal with rage.

I'm sorry to hear that. I've been dealing with the outbursts you described for a little over a year now. When you were hospitalized, what did they do to you regarding the anger?

I also get really mad at people I work with sometimes. I think way too much. If they do their job poorly, it makes me mad because I know they are capable of not doing the job poorly, but continue to do so, mainly out of laziness. I think of all the people who don't have jobs and are looking and would give a lot to be in that person's position. It makes me mad and often I actively keep myself from yelling at the incompetent people.

When I was hospitalized they gave me medication to take and observed what mad me angry. Then I spent three weeks in a day treatment program to learn to recognize when I was getting angry before I had an outburst. Then they taught me what I can do to let out the anger in a safe way. Sometimes I think it is working but other times I'm not sure if it is.

Last edited by Deb1970 on 22 Sep 2014, 8:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I am a very angry child.

The lack of it mattering in the big picture. Correcting someone isn't going to change the world.

Yes, and I mostly bottled it up until I exploded and started smashing my head against the wall because I'm the only person I can legally beat up. I had to go on Risperdal for it, for my own safety and because it was making me utterly miserable. (Risperdal and Abilify are actually on-label for autism-rage.)

Yes when I was young I used to get into all kinds of trouble with my parents because of rage issues that stemmed from psychological torture that I and many of you probably as well endured during grade school. It nearly consumed me a few times. I had more than one breakdown in school where I started to physically shake from what brewed within. Glad it never exploded. I still harbor it I guess, but I've found healthy places to sink it into, like music. My physical demeanor still reflects it though. I've come to know from numerous people that I have a dead eye stare and on more that one occasion I've been told that I look like I just hate everything. Doesn't do me any favors I guess when trying to break through with people, but it also gives me the advantage of retaining a degree of privacy that comes from looking intimidating that I've come to enjoy from time to time.