the irony not fitting in with other a-spec people

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not being crippled by anxiety or any sort of inhibitions or insecurities, its hard to come here and find anything decent to read, or even identify with much of what anyone here says. i also see, in my opinion, an ever increasing number of people jumping onto the aspergers/autism bandwagon as a justification for insecurity and other fear related issues.

is there a group of people on here, or a section where people congregate and post, based upon the fact that they are not completely ruined by insecurities and anxieties, that they have actually dealt with being different and are now functional human beings? - as much as they choose to be that is. i still prefer myself to most others.

if you want to bash me, go ahead, but it isnt going to help anyone, and im above arguing with someone on the internet, if you dont agree, dont, im not going to try to convince you, i am simply looking for other people that see what i see.

There are lots of people like that here. I'm extremely functional. I think it's just that you see a lot of negative stuff here because it's kind of like a support group.

If you want to avoid that, I'd consider sticking to forums other than General Autism Discussion and The Haven. Random Discussion is a great place.

I'm in the middle ground... I do have the depression, the insecurity - but I don't ascribe that to my condition along. There is so much more to like than to dismiss, and it has been a path to accepting and learning how to modulate certain behaviors that I had struggled with. I'd like to be a part of your conversation.


M.

thinking on it with the popular mentality of this forum in mind, i find it hard to believe it wouldnt turn into an "us vs them" thing were there a designated section for something like that, and to some extent an age thing as well. i have never had any concern for anyone that did not like me or what i choose to do, that is there issue. it seems i am the polar opposite to almost all a-spec people, at least the majority on here. i think you would get a lot of new unique users if you had a section that stipulated that it was for like minded people, despite the fact that people with those issues would inevitably attempt to pick fights.

I don't think the insular approach works; if that is the desire effect, then PM or create your own forum for it... but it would be difficult to justify such a subset in the community.


M.

You could start your own thread for it maybe...though I have a slight difficulty understanding exactly what your beef is.

I have improved dramaticly over the years in regards to my fear and anxiety and whatnots...but there are many ways in which I still have trouble functioning. I am here because I grew up struggling with learning and develomental troubles and I like being able to relate to other people who have similar issues.

I agree that you might have more fun sticking to the forums where people are not so much talking about their issues and whatnot, if that is more to your liking.

Why pick fights with people who have troubles?...or people who don't have troubles...?

Thread fights are generally cumbersome and annoying....

I'm not particularly hindered by anxieties or insecurities. Have been in the past, but am not now (even trained myself out of several severe phobias).

But I suspect I'm not the sort of person you're looking for, because minus anxiety and insecurity I'm still not what most people would call a 'functional human being' (although I find that division to not be a great one to make between people). Given that not all (or even most) difficulties autistic people have are anxiety-related or possible to overcome with learning and willpower (otherwise autism probably wouldn't exist by now).

People in the workforce don't have the time to post here, so it's mostly people not in full time work. As another poster said, it's a support group so people tend to post about the bad times not the good times.

I'm relatively new to these forums too, although I haven't really found anyone who I would consider, or they consider themselves to be, necessarily crippled by anxiety/insecurity. Maybe you've read a post or two by people with severe symptoms on a bad day, but the keyword here is "spectrum", so you're unlikely to find congregations of people that fit into neat categories; I've been told that there's a saying among clinical practitioners: "if you know one person with Asperger's, you know one person with Asperger's." And obviously not everyone here even fits into the AS diagnosis.

Also, considering that many use the designators AS and High Functioning Autism interchangeably, looking for people who are "now functional human beings" seems a little odd as people with AS are functional by definition, so you should be careful that your comments don't come off as slightly bigoted. Again I am guessing, but I'd say that most people on these forums, to all external accounts, lead pretty normal, functional lives, with most others around them completely oblivious to anything fundamentally different about them.

A final note, anxieties and insecurities are pretty normal human feelings, and side-effect rather than a diagnosing factor for autism/AS. I have come to believe that impaired ability to connect and communicate emotionally with other people is the underlining working that delineates AS, so if you're all good there then it's unlikely you'll find much benefit in forums designed for people for whom this is the overarching problem.

I have some of the markers of AS (special interests, some anxiety, clumsiness and a tendency to do dumb stuff, even though I'm not by any standards, a dumb person.) However, I have a job I love, function reasonably well despite the fact I don't cook or drive and have a generally positive outlook on life.

<-- Raises hand.

this forum is a smoking heap of complaints about how "i cant do x y or z" or anxiety related issues. if you fail to recognize this, thats not my issue. i understand that by definition a-spec means social inability, but some of us figure out how NTs work, and get on with our lives. i am not NT, but i understand how regular people function, and it would just be FABULOUS if there were a section specifically devoted to people that dont come here to complain about inability to function. all the people here who DO get it understand you cant tell someone who is convinced there is no answer that there is one, if they dont see it. you just cant explain this stuff to some people, so there are probably a bunch of people here that read and dont post, but who would were there a section that wasnt buried in posts by people that want to sit around and commiserate and wallow, or who are simply incapable of ever controlling themselves and their lives. took me over 20 years to understand normal human behaviour, it was my main focus in life, but i finally got it. once i did, it all clicked, i get whatever i want, and im happy about that. A-spec people who figure it out usually do better than NTS because we are so analytical and less prone to self deception about human behaviour, what motivates this species. anyone else who feels similarly lobby to get a section put up for people that are high functioning, no fear issues, whatever it needs to be called. if you dont get me, thats cool, dont sweat it.

Why don't you post about how you did it in, say, the 'Social skills' section. I'm sure it'd be enlightening. I'd doubtless benefit from discussions catered towards those of us who are independant adults functioning reasonably well socially and professionally, and am a bit dissapointed that the board is short on success stories and concrete how-to-overcome-X stuff.

In any case, if you'd just post about the stuff you want to talk about, it'd be less ironic than you whinging about how you are socially alienated by the way the forum seems to be largely populated by people who are whinging about being socially alienated. Or that bit where you appear to be inhibited from posting about what you want because you've got a social-fear that the socially inhibited and anxious people are bound to try to pick fights with people who post about their good functioning skills. That was pretty funny.

Nice, Electric_Kite.

willybeamish,
I am functional. I have a degree, a family, and a good full-time permanent job. I have mastered enough NT social skills to perform my job well (which heavily involves communication skills). I am not 'crippled' by anxieties, insecurites, or inhibitions. I can act NT pretty well when I want to or have to. No one has ever asked me if I have Asperger's. However, I find acting NT all day to be a totally exhausting and stressful experience. When I get home, I need to spend long periods alone to de-stress. I also highly resent HAVING to act NT just to be able to do my job and to be accepted by my co-workers. Even then, at times my directness is misinterpreted as 'rudeness'; my high level of organizational skills are misinterpreted as 'perfectionism', 'obsessiveness' and 'being controlling'; my ability to follow established policies, procedures, and protocol is relabelled as 'rigidity'; my ability to function independently and my disinterest in gossip, triviality and bitchiness is seen as 'aloofness'; etc, etc, et-bloody-cetera!! !! When I come here to Wrong Planet, I know I will be accepted for who and what I am - not someone I am 'supposed' to be. I come here when I am going through a rough patch in my life, when I am feeling down, and when I need to 'be with my own kind'. I suspect that there are quite a few of us like this here .

Of note, the current thinking by professionals [due to research] is that innate functioning determines how well someone adapts to society, rather than any treatment they have and/or self-improvement people think they make.

If you're so "functioning", it's due to your innate level of "Autism" that you were born with. One can't change this level of Autism via cognition, only by a natural improvement due to physical development (and not everyone has this improvement as they develop).

I'm "high-functioning" (I'm not "ruined", whatever that means); what do you want to talk about?