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It seems i cannot trust my emotions....

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have i acted like a complete c**t?
yes, you womanizer! 60%  60%  [ 3 ]
nah, these things can't be helped. 40%  40%  [ 2 ]
Total votes : 5

Xanderbeanz
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10 Oct 2008, 3:19 pm

i was very much in love with a girl who was kinda unavailable...then one night we kissed and it was absolutely magical, we dated for a few weeks, it was intense, we were going to plan a life together...and then one night, at a club, i meet up with some of my old friends....BAM...it seems my mind instantly regresses 5 years and i totally freak out because i get the INCREDIBLE urge that i want to be single...that i don't love this girl...aghhh.

does this massive and very rapid change in my complete mindset sound slightly schizotypal to you? all i know is, right now i feel alot calmer than i did the hours before me and her split up...she'd sacrificed so damned much to be with me...and i just flipped...kinda feeling guilty...

oh well, rant over, i'm pretty sure i'm not making much sense anyway :) x



makuranososhi
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10 Oct 2008, 3:24 pm

No vote - in my mind, that's what you have to decide, not the outside world.

Based on your short description... it sounds like you got overwhelmed, and dealt with it by excising the stimulus. Not always productive, but certainly effective. If it is important to you, talk to her; things may remain as they are, but you won't have the question lingering.


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Callista
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10 Oct 2008, 3:26 pm

Yeah. You panicked. Lots of people do, and it never seems to be good for anyone. Think before you break up.


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Xanderbeanz
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10 Oct 2008, 3:42 pm

i really feel no attraction to her in anyway other than platonic now...it scares me how i flipped like that...x



makuranososhi
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10 Oct 2008, 3:48 pm

Then the overreaction may have been in the attraction stage, when things suddenly arrested and shut down, leading to your reaction. Either way, things moved rather fast in both directions.


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Kelsi
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10 Oct 2008, 4:17 pm

Xanderbeanz wrote:
...we dated for a few weeks, it was intense, we were going to plan a life together...


AFTER ONLY 5 WEEKS???! !!

Xanderbeanz, no wonder you suddenly got a case of commitment phobia and spun the other way! This was going WAAAY too fast!

The mental state of being 'in love' is irrational, it is not based on reality. A good relationship moves very slowly so that REAL love can start to develop and gradually replace the 'in love' phase. If, after a year of dating, your REAL love for each other is continuing to deepen, THEN it may be appropriate to start planning a life together :) .