resentment

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how do i get past the resentment i feel for all the people and situations that made me feel bad about myself. ? Like all the times i was told im weird, odd, stupid, dumb, a freak, nobody likes me, a ret*d, made fun of ......... ???????

I honestly have no idea, or I'd share it with you. I've been going through the same thing, and it sucks. It's impossible to accept that the things I've been taught to hate about myself are part of a neurological wiring pattern that won't go away.

Not impossible just very hard and long I went thro all the usual crap bullied horrendously always in trouble or “special” classes, sore my first trained head doctor at 2 ect. I was trained, in every conceivable way from bribery to eversion therapy, starting at a very young age and medicated to. I have been living out of home for 1 ½ years now and thanks to living away from that pit, been med free for 3 1/2 years(no problems with meds in gerenral just the ones that were giving to me), and the learning I have gained through letting my self be introspected, reading the wealth of info on wrong planet, and some very good friends who let me talk about my self constantly and are willing to open up and talk about them self truthfully. I have been able to realise that I am not wrong, I am not always the problem. If fact I am Wright about a lot of things and I should not have to feal bad because most people are to dum to see the truth or even consider there way may not be the only way. Boy it is a good feeling, started to feal weird I think it be be the starts of this thing called self-esteem…

Talk about it.

I got over alot of resentment by talking about it with my mum and then bursting into tears.

I don't care about it anymore.

That is a bad feeling, I'll tell you that.

ttc,

Do you ever do any writing? It's amazingly therapeutic. Just sit down and write about what ever it is you're feeling, no matter how long ago or when it all happened. Just an idea I thought I'd dangle.

Hale_bopp also has good advice in that you talk about it if there is anybody in your life you can confide to.

Yeah... I know where you're coming from. Been down that road too!

It took your whole life to accumulate those negative messages that are constantly playing in your mind. Consequently, it's going to take a long time to memorize new more positive tapes to over-ride toxic ones. The messages I got from my family, other kids...shoot, even my pastor, would still drown out what I know to be true if I didn't make a decision every time "your dumb, stupid, crazy, unworthy" popped into my mind and say "These are just big lies and have nothing to do with who I am and everything to do with the people who told them."

You hit it right on. Throughout my childhood and early adolescence, I was treated like sh*t by almost everyone in my life, with the exception of very select few (this does not include my parents). And there's always the high school bullying that gives your self-esteem a boost <sarcasm>, and my parents tightened their control. So now, I'm in my 20's, and I have a sense of rootlessness. My past is there, but I don't feel connected to it. I can't deny it, obviously, yet I want to get away from it as far as possible. You know, just pack up and move to another country, leaving nothing behind except a cloud of smoke from the plane taking off. Does anyone else on WP feel this way?

I think that depressed people are effected both by the memories that they can remember of people telling them depressing things and doing things that depressed them(including themselves), and the memories they can't remember. And since thought is just a constant stream of association one depressive thought leads to another, and cycles in their head making them more and more depressed. To people with good memories this is even more painful.

Every time i'm reading some book trying to improve my mind, i might come across some passage that reminds me of a time someone ridiculed me for being wrong, or i did something stupid, and i might spend 5 minutes stuck on that passage because of my cycling memories and the only way to move on is to make my self think of something different.

I'm a really happy person, who had loving, accepting parents, and i had a good childhood, and when i am reading i can find hundreds of moments that remind me of something that makes me feel bad. Imagine how it is for someone who had a hellish childhood.

To help your resentment you should try to realize that all the times people hurt you are probably due to their weakness as a person. The weakness is probably not their fault, but it was the fact that they are weak and petty and stupid that they hurt you. And you should be the stronger one and forgive them because you know they wont realize their fault. And if you can't forgive them, it is best to just try and not think about it. And as it was stated before, forge new experiances where you are happy and fill your mind with them.