Are you a positive person? Or is your child a cheerful soul?

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I'm hoping to find both people with Aspergers and parents of children with AS with this question?

I read many posts on this forum every day, and often the posts are from people who are depressed or struggling with many problems, and understandably so. After all, that's partially what this forum is for -- to be able to rant and say whatever you want to say without feeling like people don't relate.

Then the other day, I read a post from a young man who seems to be very happy. He has a girlfriend, he raves about his family, and although he has many of the struggles that most people speak of who have AS, he seemed to be so positive.

I have two sons. The oldest went through elementary school without any diagnosis, and he struggled with social skills. He was extremely bright, but had a hard time making friends. It improved in middle school (yeah, odd, isn't it) and then I think he alternated between good days and bad in high school. He is now a very happy, together young adult, but I still think he struggles with relationships to a small degree. He also is kind of a cheerful downer -- he has STRONG opinions, and he has a STRONG sense of humor that leans toward being dark. He doesn't seem to have super high self esteem, even though he is handsome, bright, and funny.

My youngest son, though, is constantly cheerful. He struggles A LOT MORE than his brother with social skills, and academics, but he has high self esteem. He has more obvious AS characteristics, in that he's quiet, doesn't get people's jokes, takes things literally, and doesn't always say things that relate to the conversation at hand. And yet, he seems to do better socially in elementary school. I've never seen a more cheerful child.

I'm just wondering if anyone else out there has AS and is like this -- cheerful, high self-esteem, just generally happy.

Kris

I would not discribe myself as a cheerful person. I not nessisarily unhappy, but for me it's allways been easier to focus on teh negative and I don't often think "Hey, I feel happy today".

I'm quite positive about life. I live in a peaceful, tolerant town where I'm accepted and while I don't have a huge amount of friends or a girlfriend I have my family and a few friends down my local pub. I do get down occasionally but after a day or two I simply pick myself up and charge at the world again.

Everything to me is a challenge, but it's something I enjoy. Life is like building blocks that you stack on top of each other. Next year I go on a course for people with sight difficulties. I'm looking forward to it. I don't do drugs (as Chris Morris says, "alcohol's not a drug, it's a drink") and I'm not being abused so I would say I'm happy.

Being positive about life doesn't mean I don't hate nearly everything, though. If I don't like something I'll simply let rip.

Does that answer your question?

I'm not exactly optimistic, but I'm not really pessimistic, either. I can summarize my cheerfulness by saying "no matter how bad things are, they can always get worse... so let's be thankful that they aren't worse already". I am not sure what exactly you would call that.

Tequila, that DOES answer my question.

You make me think of my oldest son, who was a cheerful kid, but he does have a negative view of many things (I kind of do, too, in some ways), and yet he's happy and satisfied with life.

And Namiko, I like your outlook. I may be quoting you in the future!

Kris

In general I am not a cheerful or optimistic person. Most of the time, I'd say I'm peacefully content. I prepare for the worst and I am pleasantly surprised when something better happens. The absolute worst rarely happens but I think that it is better to prepare for it than to let it blindside you. I am a self described stoic.

This is an interesting conversation because I've had the same observations/questions myself - I'm an NT mom with a young AS son, and I worry that as he gets older and his social pressures increase that he'll lose some of his cheerfulness. He has his bad days -he's in kindergarden and doesn't always like dealing with school - but most of the time he's positive, and he really does enjoy learning. At home we let him be himself, and he's relaxed and happy when he has time to indulge his interests. He does exhibit some obsessiveness, but it's wonderful to see how excited he gets over things that not everybody else would even notice. I really like that about him, but it's one of the things that can and will draw negative attention at some point, and I don't want that to kill all of his enthusiasm. He's getting social skills therapy and I'm hoping that will give him an edge - give him the tools he needs to deal with NT's while at the same time helping him understand that he's right to have pride in who he is.

i find a key to hapinees in most aspies i sself awareness , awareness of their limitations and skills, most upset aspies look at the world like a colour blind person, they see whats going on but dont see the colour.
self aware aspies still dont see the colour but can imagine it.
the aspies who have trouble lack awareness and the ability to become self aware.
this is what makes them cross.
this is the dark side, all aspies go there at some stage.

I am far more positive these days, I've accepted things the way they are. Bleak thoughts were counter-productive, but I have retained my critical eye and black humour. I enjoy my own company and see friends occasionally, plus I've realised I function better in a slower pace environment .

I am a positive person.

I am a mostly positive person.

I'm quite positive on my outlook--I think the entire world is funny, for one thing, and I'm quite cheerful about my upcoming status.

I'm yet to find a day that has been filled more than 60% with negative thoughts.

Most people call me a pessimist. I prefer to think of myself as being realistic.

Realistic, but more or less, specifically, I am positive about MYSELF. I dont think optimistically about 'outcomes' but I do not get down on myself. I used to say I suck or I cant do this or that 'its always happening to me' or I 'didnt count my blessings'

I do this now and, honestly, it has changed and turned me around.. There is a whole field of psychology in this department, Cognitive thinking - I firmly believe in it based out of my own experiences (and happily knew OF it before I READ about it)

i'm generally positive. I enjoy feeling a bit maudlin or melancholy but for the most part i'm happy with myself.