Finding love

Post Reply New Topic

EDIT

I feel that sadness of having no girlfriend. I want one and I feel alone as many boys in my school have a girlfriend while I struggle.

I think it varies by individual.

I am gay, I have a boyfriend.

I know you guys will find a girl, you'll find someone that is interested in the same things that you are and you will meet her that way. I don't know what your interests are, but for examples, you might meet her playing Dungeons and Dragons at a gaming event. Maybe you will meet her at a con. (These are places I go, but I don't know where you go.) You might meet her at a book signing.

If you see a girl and she is holding something you have an interest in, talk to her about it. So, yeah, you do have to force a little chit-chat in to start the conversation, but if she has the same interests, it shouldn't be a problem talking about your favorite things with her.

I personally don't see any evidence that Bill Gates is on the spectrum, but there are many other brilliant people who probably are. There's a post about Tesla having AS recently, and there seems evidence that Mozart also did.
But beyond that, having a girlfriend won't take away your problems.

I don't see "finding love" as a social problem. meeting someone, starting a conversation, is something that can be learned, if heavily rehearsed... or you might just get lucky and be approached yourself.

for me personally what follows has been the biggest source of trouble, mainly the inability to understand each other's mindset. most people don't understand the need for isolation, the time you need to take to deal with the change of having a person invade your life to such extent, the way their emotions pollute your mind...

I've read a lot of articles about how and why AS people mostly stay lonely... and I agree with most of it, because from my own experience relationships with NTs are just too hard for both sides, and I have no comparison... not to mention that aspies are only one in 150 so most of us are doomed to try our luck with NTs anyway...

well.... i have had partners and have recently split up from my son's dad. it is different for everybody. what i do know is that i live in our home in my own room and studio and i stay on the computer and i hate talking and being interrupted and being touched except when iti s designated "touch time" and i jump and have meltdowns when there is a display of spontaneous affection toward me. in short, i am hell to live with for anyone vaguely regular who aspires to having a kind of "normal" relationship with a nice normal wifey kinda girl.

my son's dad does most of the parenting. i am lousy at paying bills, the washing stays in the washing machine after the cycle has ended (for 3 days) and no-one is allowed to touch my things and my objects or my paintings. i am trying to get my head around doing every second evening meal. i eat on my own and the boys eat at the table but i do eat brekkie with them and then run away to get away from the social contact with them.
my pets sleep in my room with me and my son is probably really starting to think i am totally freaky, although he does love me and me him.

I have poor executive function - although it does improve if there is only "me " to look after. Once other people come into the equation i am gone. And i am a whizz at painting and art and that is about all.


and i am not in any way purely heterosexual and i believe in open relationships and am completely unconventional in most of my views.

and i cannot listen and comprehend although i can talk and monologue. i flap my hands and get overwhelmed or stim.


Oh and i stim a lot.

sound like fun?

^^yeah that sounds vaguely familiar and from what I'd read, AS people get their oxitocin out of their special interests, which is one of the reasons why they mostly don't require a lot of social contact.

I personally would love to share some things and some part of my life with another person, only from what I'd experienced the cons outweigh the pros massively... it's just too damn oppressing.

I have never had trouble dating, the trouble was with what happened afterward. I was in one long term relationship, and then left it for good. I haven't dated for years and years, because I've had bad experiences with people being high maintenance, being possessive, acting entitled to my company instead of respectfully requesting it, ect. While a part of me yearns for something nebulous called romance, the more practical parts of me feel that there is no such thing.

thanks re avatar feedback...that's the prob - i look ok for 46 but cannot let anyone touch me!! ha.

let me know when you crack the code.

millie!! you changed your avater! I almost didn't recognize you

Actually what caught my eye was the headline 'here to corrupt'