Do you need a strict schedule?

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I have edited this post because I only got two responses to the original one. Maybe I didn't give you guys enough information...? I am asking about regimentation because my son, who is 21 and at college, is overwhelmed. He has always been good at coping with his Asperger's, but I also think that he was good at hiding a lot of his problems, even from his parents.

My boy does have a problem with time. He is so much "in the moment" that he can't look ahead, and is many times shocked to realize that hours at a time have flown by and he has frittered them away on nothing. On daydreaming or napping or surfing the web. If he has nothing to do, he gets very anxious. If he has too much to do, same thing. And yet he tends to put off chores and projects until the last minute. Then he is on the precipice, freaking out about not being to finish something on time.

He had a breakdown at college just a few days ago. I flew up there to bring him home and get him to his doctor. Now he is doing much better, but we'd like to have a plan of action so that he move forward, finish the semester and not have another episode.

I think that a daily schedule would be a good and necessary thing for him. Do any of you need to schedule your days so that you get things done and don't fall into a depression? What about weekends?

Do you find that you need a schedule in order to get things done and not fritter away the hours?

How detailed is your schedule?

Do you have to schedule-in even routine things, like bathing?

Do you have any problems with your schedule?

Are you good at following your schedule, and if not, how does that affect you?

I am hoping to get information from people who live this and can advise me about how detailed the schedule should be, how to avoid any pitfalls, etc.

Thanks in advance.

If I need to get things done I will create a mental to-do list or I will write it down if I think I will forget.
I started writing lists about doing everything at certain times, but I couldn't even accomplish getting out of bed at the right time.

I usually have to order what I do in the morning -- breakfast, make bed, brush teeth, shower, etc. It's all in the same order everyday and usually at the same time.
After lunch is when I get bored, especially between 2:00-4:00. I need to work out what to do during this time. It's usually house chores, reading, or many hours on the internets.

My weekends are the same. I don't go to school or work so I usually forget what day of the week it is. Although, on weekends I might go to the city and attempt to have a social life, which usually backfires.

Not all of my day is completely scheduled. Half of the time I get bored of having everything planned. Some things, like traveling, whether it's across town or across the ocean, needs to be planned out completely, including finding maps of airport interiors.

For day to day though... I keep most of it fairly flexible, in case of unseen factors and if I change my mind. However, I do have a morning routine and a bedtime routine.
Morning: I get up, go to the washroom, wash my CPAP face mask (I have sleep apnea), take a shower, wear something soft while recovering from showering and make breakfast, eat breakfast, take meds, get dressed.
Night time: get CPAP face mask set up, check CPAP water supply, brush hair, tidy room/apartment, check door locks, wash face, bed!!

Otherwise, it's a matter of my determination to do stuff.

Edited original post and bumped it up.

Need a schedule, not necessarily a strict one. Like today I have planned I need to check the mail and take the rubbish bins in and take the washing off the line and iron it at some point before lunch, and that I'd need x amount of time to do all that.
If those classify as routine things, then yes I need to schedule them. Waking up routine is the same every day so that doesnt require much effort/thought to move through.

With studying/assignments, the issue with me is completely difference because I simply don't want to start them. Again I like estimating the time it would take to complete them and then factor in any complications that might arise as to when I should start actually doing it and being able to finish comfortably.

I hate strict schedules. No one else follows them, which is stressful, which is why I avoid them. Ie lectures are uni are meant to run from xx:05 to xx:55, the first time one went more than a minute or two overtime, all the way to 11:01 I was on the verge of crying. I simply stop listening at xx:55 and the pressure of needing to be somewhere else one minute ago is bah.
Same when public transport comes late. I've learnt to accept that other people's idea of a schedule means the time is +/- 10 minutes, so once you go over my buffer zone, then I get panicky. Hence I like to avoid strict schedules because they are inapplicable in RL to me.

Time management is something that students on the spectrum with struggle with immensely. If they have had a pretty understanding team at high school where their time is managed in every way, they find it difficult to learn how to structure time in the adult world.

In college, the tend to struggle with time management when it comes to getting things done for classes. Homework is a concept that is usually eliminated in high school, and everything is homework in college. Working closely with the school's special services department helps in some cases. They can usually get a peer tutor or peer buddy that will help with assignments and getting them accomplished.

I live and die by the calendar in my phone. It helps me to keep my day structured and makes sure that I can't miss appointments (which I would do if I didn't have this coping mechanism). I tend to have to make lists of things that must be accomplished in order for me to get things done. My job is pretty open with my time and if I don't make lists, I would get nothing done. I need the visual cues to keep me on track.

Weekends are an entirely different matter. I can get lost in doing something on the computer or in my sewing room or whatever, and before I know it, my husband is home from work and I've wasted the whole day but can't really tell you what I did. On the other hand, I have to stay so structured at work to get things accomplished, that I'm not sure that this is an entirely bad thing. I have to make lists to do all sorts of tasks. I have to have them to run errands and then to get what I need to get when I'm running the errand.

So, invest in post it notes. I buy 4x6 or 5x7 ones with lines that help me to make lists. They are fantastic!

I don't have a strict schedule, but a pretty strict routine if that makes any sense. Some things I am very routine with: nightly tv shows, morning getting ready, getting ready for bed, etc. However, I also know that if I make a schedule for myself (even though I know it's fairly flexible) and that schedule gets changed by some uncontrollable factor, it freaks me out and then I feel out of whack for the rest of the day.

Now, I work with Asperger's students in the transition process (going from high school to college or adult life) and this is the one aspect that is most difficult to teach. I can only teach them the general basics, but not specifics. Every once in a while, one will come back so that we can fix their daily schedule to include the specifics of their lives. Usually I can get them on track and then they can do it on their own. It's generalising it that causes a huge problem. Once I can show them how that works, they do great.

I also always found that in school, it was helpful to have some artificial structure. I went to school, worked, and had a family, so my meaningless empty time, was limited and I had to utilise it to the greatest extent to get class work done. This artificial structure helped to keep me on track. Are there any AS support groups in your area? That might be helpful as well. Hanging out with other AS people might be a good way to put in some artificial structure. Are there clubs that he's interested in? Or at least clubs with people who have similar interests? This might be helpful as well.

My number one suggestion would be to work with the special services department at his college. It's often hard for students to understand that at least in the US, once a student becomes an adult no services are mandatory and they start becoming eligible for services. This means advocating for themselves. Ugh...super hard and icky.

Another suggestion would be to contact the Bureau of Developmental Disabilities (sometimes it's the Department of Mental Retardation) and see if there are any waiver programs that your son is eligible for. A medicaid waiver is often helpful to pay for some things that are truly essential for AS students.

Your local department of Vocational Rehabilitation also can help with paying for services that are essential for AS students. If you need additional info, you can PM me and I will research some of these things to hook you up. I will need to know what state you are in or what state your son attends college.

Oh, another suggestion, find an adult service provider in your area. The one that I work for has partnered with a local college to find students that an AS student can "hang out" with and they also help with some of those time management issues related to assignments. A brief note, waiver programs are essential to paying for services through an adult service provider. The upside is that they may have someone that can hook you up to the necessary state programs.

Stay strong mom or dad! This is a very difficult transition for your child and having a breakdown will take some time to recover from. It's a kind of meltdown and this is very overwhelming to our systems. We do not handle stress well and certainly do not process it appropriately! Patience with key and proactiveness is necessary! I hope you find something helpful here!