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I feel really pathetic, dumb and defective

I know i have AS, but i can't accept it. I feel as if i am some kind of freak, and as if its all my fault i was born with this thing i have. I only got diagnosed a year ago, but im really sad about it. How do i accept myself for who i am?

I don't think you ever do, but it is something that was supposed to benefit you by knowing what you have; at least now you have a reason for feeling different. I think this is one main reason why it is an adult decision and that we are diagnosing individuals too young with this disorder. The younger an individual is, the greater the chance for misdiagnosis.

It's not the end of the world. AS hits about 1/4 to 1/6 as many people as those who are affected by ADHD. I kind of like my differences even though I still feel that way even though my diagnosis was also about a year ago. It bothers me from time to time.

Have you gone to any support groups? You may see some inner-connections with you.

That there's over a million in the US alone? 10 million and more in China? and almost a hundred million worldwide?

Just hang with us. We all share something, so you're not alone.

i find knowing that this is why i have weird qualities a good thing as i know im not weird i just have as

You're going to hate me for saying that nearly all 16-yr olds feel that way, even the NTs, but I think it's true. It's a mercy from God that I will never need to be a teenager again. Once you get out of high school and the company of bullies, you should start feeling better.

I think it helps to try to understand which parts of that are feelings and which are facts. For example, you feel like it's your fault; but you also know you were born with it and it obviously isn't your fault. Often times, feelings just don't listen to reason. You feel defective or like a freak even though you aren't, and your feelings won't listen to you when you say, "Hey, stop it, there's nothing wrong with being autistic." You can try to repeat the facts to yourself as often as possible, to try to get your feelings to listen. I don't know how well it works for you; I do know it only works slowly for me, and I still have irrational feelings like, "You don't deserve to get help with studying because you're just lazy," for example...

Maybe the whole disconnect between what you know and what you feel is just part of the human experience...

you do realize that the people who have made every notable contribution in society had some form of defect whether psychological or physical correct? Really thats just a perception issue similarly theres just as much evidence supporting that we are the next step in evolution. In either case whether defect or progression you still determine how you turn out AS don't, experiences don't, and most of all any problems you may have don't. If you chose to fail you will fail if you chose to suceed you will suceed its that simple.

Personally I've done alot that other people could only dream of and thats only because I have the willpower to make my wants and dreams happen. I'm in the same boat as you I have AS but AS won't be the reason I become who I become that solely rests on my shoulders. Do I have problems socializing? yea but I overcome them because I want to, the other parts of my personality I don't think need to be changed aren't. In the end theres only one instance in my life where I was even remotely hampered by AS and I think it has more to do with the lack of intergrity of the people I had to deal with and had nothing to do with me and my having as.

So with this knowledge of having AS you have two choices. You could start your self furfilling prophecy and fail because your supposedly defective or you can work on making your dreams happen whatever they may be. In the end all you have to do is say you want to change something, work on it, and it will happen. Ok I've preached enough for today I guess ...

People whether with AS or not have to learn individually how to accept themselves and its not as widely done as you think. Most people put up a mental image of who they want to be and then believe they are that person, they reject their flaws and quirks as imaginary. No one on this forum can sit here and tell you how to accept yourself thats a personal truth that you have to find on your own. It took me 4 years in my teenage years to get to that point so its not a night and day difference. It's like anything you have to work hard at it.

Do I replay this one too much?

"Who Taught You To Hate Yourself?"
http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt77445.html

I didn't ask to be born. There's no reason for me to feel guilty about the fact that I was born.

Acceptance of the diagnosis will come, give it time... I was in your shoes at 13 and was like that till about 3-4 months ago. Yes you will be able to accept it, the fact that you are here shows you are trying. For me acceptance came because I wanted to know more about how it affected me, and how I could better myself.