employed in obsession/ working yourself to death?

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Has anyone had a salaried job associated with their obsession that made them near work themselves to death? My husband has a job associated with his obsession and the excuse that it earns money just feeds the obsession all the more. I mean he literally does not eat/ barely eats, does not sleep/ barely sleeps and spends EVERY waking second on his obsession. This goes beyond being a workaholic... it's like he's losing his mind. I feel like I'm watching him destroy himself.

I have lost sleep and stopped eating over obsessions but I guess because I never had an obsession that was a "real job" I usually got back in touch with reality. But that fact that he is earning a living doing this seems to make him all the more consumed...

Can anyone relate to this?

How long has this been?
If it's new, maybe he'll work through a few issues,
then settle into a more sustainable routine?

Yeah, I can quite easily get lost in my work. It was worse when I was self employed and worked from home, I'd literally work from I got out of bed until I collapsed back into it, sometimes 2 days later.

It's a matter of discipline. Your body and brain can only work for so long before it becomes harder to work, and from that point on you're wasting time. A scheduled break (or a strict finish time) means that when you do work, you work more efficiently and do better work.

That sounds easy, but it's not, but it does mean accepting that rest and play are not luxuries, they're necessary, even if we think they're not.

I can, I call it being in an "AS trance", he sounds similar to me in the fact that he becomes mentally closed off from while he is engaging the tasks at hand. I'm guessing his workplace must love his work ethic? Have you tried talking to him about it? He needs to understand he needs to reign in the compulsion to work, because his 'angst' to work is distorting his perception and making him 'block out' thinking about your needs. Aspies have significant difficulty naturally being concerned with the thoughts of others because of deficits in theory of mind, you need to 'pull him' out of the loop, by asking him 'when is the last time you thought about me and my thoughts/feelings/concerns', that might wake him up a bit. We tend to get 'caught in the zone', you can attempt to burst the bubble by simply being direct but not confrontational, it may take a bit of weening.

While that message may be hard to hear, the messenger can make it harder.
WHO is saying it might be as important as the message itself.
Apaturs, do you guys have someone who can mediate? Someone who's opinion he respects?

Another factor is that sometimes you really ARE in the zone, and staying on that task really is productive. I have done that -- at one point I really do believe that if I pack it up now I will loose all this great momentum. If someone came along then to nag, it would only annoy me.

Then there comes a point when pushing myself is counter-productive. I get tired and I know that I've lost that "zone" thing, that I am making mistakes, making a mess of things and just being obsessive. If someone came along at just the right moment and asked "are you really still in the zone?" I would agree and go to bed. But no one will ever be that good of at mind-reading.

My current job is tied to a long time special interest of mine (architecture and design). When I first started this job, I was ALWAYS working. I didn't drive, so I worked through lunch most days. I came in early and stayed late, I worked, worked, worked. This all changed when I began to have problems with a co-worker. Ever since then, unfortunately, I haven't been as hard a worker as I was before. But I still wish I was, because I REALLY enjoyed it. It kept me feeling somewhat sane.

He's been in the field his whole life, but the worst obsession intensity started around 1999.

Yep that is what he does... does not eat or sleep for two days, then shovels in some food and collapses, then starts the whole thing over again the next day.

I have asked him to take a 15 minute break or force himself to eat a meal... I may as well be talking to a wall.

Yes I did this for about 25 years more or less 7 days a week 16 hours a day and then switched over to the same routine but self employed for about another 20 years and this is the first year I have more or less just goofed off for some reason.

Yes, but they tought me not to overwork.

There were times in my life when I was a workaholic; partly because my work was my special interest/obsession, and I also think due to some psychological issues as well. I finally learned that I had to eat, as my work is physical and requires my body to be healthy, but the temptation not to eat was there for awhile. In fact, due to health issues and a collapse, I finally learned- the hard way- how not to work myself into the ground.

Hopefully, he will find his way too.