being non-verbal

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When I have a shutdown I can become non-verbal. I find it scary to not be able to speak. It happened today. I was trying to survive a lunch with my mum, sister and boyfriend. I did ok. Now come to think of it I actually ordered my meal without having to repeat it. But as we were looking at things in the shops I started to get agitated. Then the sensory problems came and I freaked out about crossing the road. Then I sat in the car and didn't say a thing for the whole trip home. I even tried to utter out the word 'time' because I wanted to know what time I should bring the clothes in off the line. Then I tried to say 'key' when I was going to open the door. For some reason I have to say these words when I do these actions. All that came out was 'euuuhh'.
Eventually I could say a few words so I said to my mum 'do you like my new spinning tops?' I sounded younger than usual though.

Does anyone have moments when they become non-verbal?

I can't speak to other people than my parents and those that are important to me. And as soon as I feel that somebody else is seeing me talk, my voice just vanishes and I can't talk.

This trouble's me a lot and I'm doing a therapy against it. But it doesn't seem to work.

That sounds like selective mutism. I had that as a kid. Now I can talk to strangers, but when things just get too much for me I can't talk at all.

This has been a problem for me.
Especially if people ask me questions that I don't want to answer or feel angry about answering.

There are safety issues as well, which is why I've always tried to force myself to respond to others on field-trips/in class/at work. Most of the time, I'm usually fine, it only tends to happen when I'm really stressed, overloaded or socially confused.

I find that it improves if I interact with people I have to talk to on a regular basis. I've had to force myself to talk to trip leaders/educators for this reason and learn all the safety procedures thoroughly.

If something goes wrong and I have to talk to a stranger behind a desk at an airport/shop, forget it. I'm petrified of airports, not because I'm afraid of flying, but that something will go wrong like lost luggage or changed rules. It does happen, but I wouldn't know how to deal with it. Shops and airports are often very crowded.

Fortunately, so far, other people that I've known have been around to speak for me, so I've managed to cope safely.

Actually, I might keep a notepad with me to hand to people if this kind of shut-down happens again. They could think I'm weird and deliberately messing about though.

It happens. It's probably because you're overwhelmed. Which can be due to emotions and/or sensory overload.

To me, it feels like I'm trapped within the confines of my mind when it happens. It usually lasts for an hour or two in most cases, but I've had some daylong episodes before.

Involuntary shut-downs have never happened to me (or at least, I think they haven't). However, I do tend to keep quiet when in a big group, or when I'm not sure what to talk about.

Yeah if it's a life or death thing i might talk to a stranger, otherwise i don't talk to many people at all, i lock up sometimes and end up trying to say a sentence and instead just spit out a lot of words that dont even corrispond with eachother , i was lucky enough to be born with a huge bone structure and athletic build ( and i hate sports, makes no sense ), so when i need to leave a situation, i will and have just pushed everyone out of my way. It may not get me many freinds, but for now, i'm ok with it The only problem i run into is running into walls and other ojects on accident

I do have moments when I don't feel like talking and keep quiet for hours, but if someone keeps pestering me I can open my mouth and tell them to leave me alone, so I guess it's not the same.

@pensive - does your mind work the same as usual during these episodes? Because if I'm extremely stressed or overwhelmed my mind just seems to block itself completely. I can hardly acknowledge anything around me, don't understand what's being said to me and couldn't answer the easiest question - not sure if I really couldn't make a sound or there just aren't any words in my head. It doesn't last more than a few minutes though. Sorry if that's not very clear - I never talked about it and I would like to know if it's anything like what you experience.

That must be incredibly frustrating.

Has not happened to me, - but i rarely speak anyway...

Same here, it drive my parents crazy when im trying to do Aljebra 2, and they ask something as simple as 10 + 85, and i see the equation and the anwser, but i cant process any of it.

Pardon my spelling and Grammer

Hm. Well, I do have the selective mutism thing.
Also can't speak most of the times when I have meltdowns. The most I can get out during meltdown is usually a whiny, whimpery "eeeeeeee" type of noise.
And sometimes just have moments where I can't talk. And moments where I can talk (normally, and all, having regular conversation and everything) but I haven't a clue what I'm saying, or something.

So. Yes.

When I get out of control, I can't shut up I can't let it go. To the point of emotionally pummeling the person in front of me. Not all the time, but more intense (like witnessing a death in front of me) the more likely. Maybe it's more a male vs. female (testosterone, adrenalin) thing? But in a way, we are responding to the same internal brain conflict...

This leads to me outright avoiding social situations out of fear of creating conflict.

I've posted a few times that some AS symptoms seem extreme opposites for some people.

Anyone have other symptoms that are complete opposites? Where the book says "don't like hugs" but you "crave hugs"?

I honestly thought that feeling anxious in social situations outside the house was normal because some family and friends have felt the same way.

Maybe I was just kidding myself when I thought:
"I'm being well behaved and quiet."

This was in response to others reacting badly to my social cluelessness.

I honestly thought that people would like me when I shouted out or said random things when I was in class, because a close relative of mine did that all the time and I didn't see anything "wrong" with that. I shut down when I was told off for "misbehaving" after that.

Years later, I found out that this close relative was socially clueless, but at the time I just thought he was charming and fun because he kept bragging about how "popular" he was. He wasn't popular though, unfortunately many people found him irritating and a "pain in the neck" because they didn't understand him.

The truth is, he really is that socially clueless and can't help it. He used to be incredibly shy and anxious, and would shut down verbally in restaurants etc, so couldn't order any food and had to leave. He has developed coping skills as he's interacted with more people though. Sometimes you just have to force yourself to talk.

I think this is hereditary folks. Maybe it's something to do with social processing: the anxiety and the mutism might follow on as a kind of coping mechanism.

I remember when I was younger (About 8-9 years old) people would continuously ask me the same questions very fast and laugh at me because I got very anxious and couldn't answer. It did really hurt me and I was shaking with fear. I think that was the start of me not being able to talk like I used to.

I literally was overwhelmed like some here mentioned and it damaged me somehow. I hope that one day I can talk again.

Happens to me too.
It actually seems to work by my stutter getting so bad that the words just don't "work" at all. It's incredibly frustrating - I hadn't realised how difficult it is to get a point across to someone who is not used to non-verbal comms. if you can't talk!
I usually have a notebook or something in my pocket in case this happens, but am also considering using a card that I can fish out of my pocket in such a sutuation saying something lke:
"Sorry, cannot communicate verbally at the moment.
Please use notebook.
Don't worry, I'll be back with you shortly!"
The only problem with communicating on paper seems to be my atrocious handwriting...

This happens to me . The term "eelctive mutism" is a little - well, it is not really elective.

I used t have such trouble communicating to anyone other than safe people that I "refused" to talk other than in safe palces.

However, there are times, like in college last semester- it was awful. On OK days I could talk and communicate like when it was new and no one really knew me yet. But toward the middle it all broke down. In a small class I could not look at prof., could not talk, and it was a small group. So theyh would ask what XYZ meant and I wold try to talk. And I had that where it sounded yuonger and more ingorant. I knew tha=e answer, but my brain crossed up and just stopped working. If he had asked my name, I would have been able to squeek that out, but with reference to fearing another question!

I tried to say I was tired or that I got hit or something that made sense to them. Theyh were looking at me like I was having a stroke. Very curious looks like WTF?! I was not even able to look at them.

HELL!

I did not know what was the matter. I was not dxed then.

If I had known, I am n ot sure what I would have done.

People freak if you say, " I Have AUT, I am OK, but I am just having a weird day."

I like the pencil and paper thing. But it freaks people out. I SOOOO admire those who don't give a s**t if theyh freak people out. I can't get past that/