Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You can now control reality. Unfortunately, when you fall asleep, you accidentally destroy the universe.

I wish diet food tasted like real food.

Granted, it all tastes like rotten eggs.

I wish I could see the future.

Granted, you can only see one point in future, which is when earth is enveloped by the sun.

I wish I wasn't now doing BOTH performances this week in the play since my double is getting his molars out.

Granted, you are now doing 1 performance each day.

I wish I could understand everything.

Granted, you now understand everything which goes through the mind of a koala bear.

I wish drawings could come alive.

Granted, here is a drawing of the Incredible Hulk. He's very angry.

I wish I could read minds.

Granted, you are a computer in the year 2084.

I wish I will get over my 2 week sickness quickly.

Granted you will get over it in 2 weeks.

I wish I had a flatscreen TV

Granted, I have placed your current TV through a car crusher.

I wish I owned a car crusher.

Granted its a 50 metre high granite ball that you have to place on cars.

I wish I had the Force so I could make Zeek's granite ball float menacingly over all the frikking cars outside my house!!

Granted. It will float menacingly over their cars then fall on your house, no matter where you're staying

I wish I had a sister.

Granted its Paris Hilton

I wish I had something to sweep Zeek off the roof

Granted. It's Paris Hilton.

I wish I had a daughter.

Granted! No corruption advised.

I wish for my own apartment.

Granted. It's in the most corrupt city in Russia.

I wish I had a pet turtle.

Granted. It's a green sea turtle and needs about a thousand gallons of sea water to keep it alive.

I wish I could train my cat to do tricks.