Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but then you find yourself trapped between pages, a huge finger looming above you.

I wish I were 18.

Granted. You are 18 base 9 (17 base 10).

I wish for a falling star.

Granted, you are Watson but, you have a meltdown and told you will never work in the movie industry again.

I wish I had normal sleep paterns.

Oh, I hope that will never happen! I don't really have meltdowns often!


Granted, but you can't change it anymore once you set it.

I wish I lived in SoCal.

Granted. You now live in Sodden Caledonia.

I wish for a giant 3-D TV.

Granted. As you're watching a fight scene in an action movie, the characters suddenly jump out and kill you.

I wish that I'll get into MIT.

Granted, but the first hack performed ends up directed at incoming freshmen on the Central time zone.

I wish I could apply to lots of backup colleges and universities without paying the application fees and get admitted to one (ideally UCSD).

Granted, but the one you get admitted to is not a good fit for you, and you end up miserable and wanting to transfer.

I wish I will get an A on both of my math tests this week.

(Side note: I don't even live in the Central time zone area. )

Granted. Then, the second most mathematical of your courses gives a surprise exam with all the components of both Physics C variations and the C component of BC along with an entire section about nonverbal cues and facial expressions with their associated emotions.

[Not Central? I thought it was a +2 difference, but that would mean a confusion with a member in the Heartland as guessed from references to the time.]

I wish for a ssRNA typewriter that will not jam after I feed it the notorious sequence.

Granted, but it is so expensive that you fall heavily into debt.

I wish for a light microscope.

Granted. It is one of those, "little explorers," models.

I wish for a SEM.

Granted. The SEM breaks the day after its warranty expires.

I wish for infinite knowledge about science.

Granted, and that includes knowledge about your own neural circuits, which begin simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simulating/thinking about themselves simul-FWACKOOOM!

I wish everyone else would have uncorrupted wishes.

granted, you must do 50 push ups

I wish for nice summers

Granted, all other seasons become horrible.

I wish for omnipotence.

Granted, but you accidentally destroy the Universe, when you have a nightmare.

I wish for a super power.