Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, no ninjas will ever be forced or otherwise coerced into posting on this or any other forum (they can, of course, still choose to post if they so desire).

I wish that making a wish in this thread actually worked in real life

Granted. however you are now in an alternate universe where you have never existed and can not eat or drink any of the food or liquids. Oh and society has collapsed and the world is a bio-chemical-nuclear hell!

I wish I had usable superpowers that are not lame.

Granted. You destroy the planet with those.

I wish for a comfortable chair that actually gives back support.

Granted but you lean too far back and you fall over.

I wish summer was longer.

Granted, but the other seasons are now much longer.

I wish for better hand-eye coordination.

granted- but you lose all control of your legs

i wish i had clear sinises

Granted, you're now better coordinated, but can't control it and keep hitting yourself.

I wish cellphones could limit the number of calls you receive each hour.

Granted. They now only allow the most annoying callers.

I wish to find a reason to get up.

Granted: suddenly you see an army of fleas heading your way.

I wish: that I could see the truth of everyone I meet, see them for who they really are. hear their thoughts and know their feelings. and have the power to send them into erotic ecstasy or pain, as i so did choose. as well as alter reality, and travel time. and live a youthful (and healthy) existence (at my bodies adult prime age) forever. and that I will always be financially well to do.

Granted however the result of knowing all that drives you insane and you try to kill yourself but you can't die. Oh, and your wounds won't heal as you are forever young, never changing.

i wish I could cause the peopleof this world to live in harmony and peace everlasting. The peace that is not the people. They live normal lives just in harmony with each other.

Granted. Their constant harmonizing drives you nuts, because they're always singing songs out of tune - just in perfect harmony with each other - and getting the lyrics slightly wrong, so that they make no sense. Subsequently, you shall know the peace of Landru.

I wish danmac could be granted clear sinuses, as requested a few posts ago.

Granted. Now danmac's head is completely transparent.

I wish for a BLT sandwich.

Granted, you now have a Black Licorice Twizzler sandwich

I wish to break the speed of light.

Granted: you broke the universe, light no longer travels in striate lines and its speeds become erratic.


I wish for someone to post after me.

Granted by default.

I wish people would wish for bad things on this thread, then the corruption would make them good.

Granted. However the bad things they wish for affect them double what it affects others and triple on you.

I wish everybody would be healthy and ther proper weight and height and have long fulfilling lives with an active social lives.