Corrupt A Wish

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It never freeze, but it gets an unremovable virus that makes it run too fast for you.

I wish I had a six-pack stomach and a buff body.

Granted, but you now have body odor like old gym socks.


I wish I had a million dollars.

You have $1,000,000, but in coins instead of notes. You slip on a banana skin and the money crushes you, breaking most of your bones. Even with the best care, which you have paid for, the recovery period is still very long.

I wish I didn't crave sugary foods.

OUCH!

Granted, but now all you can find to eat IS sugary foods.

I wish that the people who give me grief would disappear out of my life.

Granted. They disappear from your view but still backstab you every chance they get.

I wish the process of finding a job wasn't so ridiculous.

Granted, but the job you easily find is ridiculous.

I wish I won the lottery.

Granted. And now every person you knew in the past, every telemarketer in every country on the face of the earth, and every sketchy charity known to mankind will start hounding you.

I wish I had a third arm growing out of the middle of my chest.

Granted, but it's hostile and not under your control. It'll punch you in the face when you least expect it, and you can never relax, because it will grab your crotch and squeeze like a real bastard

I wish I didn't so easily forget what I was going to do.

You don't forget, instead you always fail.

I wish I didn't have acne.

Granted. You have a robotic face made of gold. No acne. By the way, a thief kills you to sell the gold.

I wish I knew what is the best time to get up from the chair I’m sitting on and go outside.

Granted. You don't have a chair anymore, you have to sit in dog mess.

I wish for new WP members (ones that are not trolls, spammers, bullies etc).

Granted, but none of the new members ever make a single post.

I wish there was a cure for cancer.

Cancer is cured, but all other illnesses and diseases are resistant to medicine.

I wish I had a pet snake.

Granted, but the snake has Asperger's and hypersensitivity to touch, so you can't pet your pet.

I wish that there's an afterlife and I'll go to Heaven like a saint, no matter what.

You go to heaven but all your loved ones go to hell.

I wish I wasn't scared of dogs.

Woof...I mean...Poof! Now you're no longer scared of dogs, but they're still scared of you and run away.

I wish I could be the Prince in the Nutcracker Ballet.