Corrupt A Wish

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Poof! Your body no longer requires sleep, but you've just won a king size Simmons Beauty Rest bedroom set on the Price is Right along with a week's vacation to a Bed & Breakfast in Vermont and a years' supply of Unisom.

I wish I could get rid of my surgery scars.

Your surgery scars are gone and there are now empty holes where they were.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. Everyone dies. No more wars, ever.

I wish I didn’t have a reason to be afraid of having killed two USB ports of this computer.

No need to worry, it was an agent from the government.

I wish that you grant me another wish.

Granted, but everything you wish for backfires on you.

I wish that I had pavement all the way to my house.

Granted. All greenery is destroyed on your way home and paved over with a continuous slab of concrete.

I wish to get rid of my insomnia.

Granted, but now you oversleep every time you have something important scheduled.


I wish my skin wasn't so dry.

Granted. Now you're an amphibian, so better make sure your skin stays wet all the time or you'll suffocate.

I wish I could stop wasting time.

You stop wasting your time, but everybody else wastes your time.

I wish I lived in a golden palace.

Granted, but now you have to sell off your palace, one piece at a time, to pay the heating bill.

I wish we had normal amounts of rainfall where I live.

Granted....but your flood insurance will quadruple

I wish I had a watermelon.

Granted, but you get arrested for having stolen a watermelon.

I wish I had diplomatic immunity.

Poof! You now have diplomatic immunity as a person with their own country after becoming stranded on a deserted island.


I wish I had all my lost teeth back.

Granted, they're all in your hand. There ya go!

I wish I didn't mind going to the dentist.

Granted. You don’t mind going to the dentist, and they don’t mind your presence, as in, they receive the other patients, but completely ignore you. Oh, and you’d better not annoy them or they’ll call the police to make sure you leave them alone

I wish I didn’t find it so hard to focus on what I really need to be thinking of.