Where is my..... [Game]

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(People who were with NTL prior to the Virgin takeover still have NTL email addresses. However, NTL has a nasty habit of deleting emails originating from France! I think it is some cheap-nasty-incompetent way of reducing spam. Since most spam that reaches inboxes in the UK originates from outside the UK, NTL in their wisdom tend to delete emails from abroad!)

Your water bill run on to so many pages it is too heavy for the postman to bring. It is being delivered by lorry tomorrow!

Where is my harpsichord?

Online... you now have the person to use

Where is my finger memory drive

Your finger has been converted into a flash memory drive. Just insert it into any 240 volt mains socket and you will see the flash!

Where is my first aid box?

I'm using it after being electrocuted and was infected by malware...

Where is my poster?

Down the toilet. It was one hell of an asswiper.

Where is my mind?

Down the toilet!

Where is my dog?

Here it is. I had it on my bookshelf.

Where's my spirit?

Between the Jack Daniels and Vodka.

Where is my pint of real ale?

In my fridge

Where's my lava lamp?

I threw it to the nearest volcano....

Where is my prize that I won before?

be patient boy! u get it on friday i hope, if not, we shud complain 2 de college, im best wid complaints.

where is my ring?

I didn't know you was married... (never noticed a ring till now)

Where is my free will?

It escaped when you let it free.

Where is my magic wand?

I using it to turn water into Dr. Pepper.

Where's my new bookshelf?

The burglar stole you books, but realising he had nowhere to put them, he stole that too.

Where is the rest of your stuff? Hehehe.

Your new bookshelf has been stolen and was needed for Richie's library...

Where is my dignity?