Where is my..... [Game]

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At the bottom of the ocean... better take a snorkel with you.

Where is my bag of peanuts?

Fed to the elephants at the zoo.

Where is my flying carpet?

Sorry, Aladdin came by, and seems to have his flying carpet on chemical cleaning, so I gave it to him.

Where is my sorcerer?

Sorry, your sorcerer is busy repairing their wands and spellbooks.

Where is my Wizard?

The Wizards, are you kidding me? Win-loss record 26-56 ... longest consecutive winning streak, one game..... they suck.

Where's someone to help me get rid of all this furniture before I move?

Got stuck in the traffic - there was a moose on the road who caused a severe traffic jam.

Where is my kettle?

It went outside to cool down, it is boiling indoors.

Where is my frying pan?

Cockney Rebel added it to her drumset.

Where is my toothbrush?

Oh I used it to clean between the tiles in the bathroom. Do you want it back?

Where is my cheque for £1M from that Nigerian Prince who contacted me by email?

Well you have to give him your banking login and password before he can wire it to you, no?

Where is my paycheck from the Abbey?

Gone to be countersigned by Pope John Paul the 2nd.

Where is my TV remote control?

Somewhere very, very remote from your TV.

Where is my job contract?

The person posting next used it to wrap fish and chips...

Where's the chili kettle chips?

Um, not in the U.S., I think. I don't think "chili kettle chips" means anything here.

Where is my shredder?

I stole it.

Where are my tickets to see "Date Night"
for me and my two cousins?

Sorry, they were disallowed. Date Night is meant to be seen with a date, and dating your cousins (and 2 at a time!) is taboo.

Where is the evil moron who took over Facebook and ruined what could have been such a nice platform?