Corrupt A Wish

Post Reply New Topic

Granted, but the next day you come into work you get interrogated by management because some jerk claimed you made a bomb threat or threatened someone or any number of other things that leaves you wondering, "what the heck was that about?" Then you are suspended from work until further notice. Two days later you get a call, and you come down to work and sign the termination and ban papers. They have a police officer there to arrest you, but the officer refuses to because he recognizes that this is a load of BS.


I wish I were no longer banned from Wal-Mart. Not to shop there because I hate them now and hope they never get anymore money ever, but so that I may have that freedom restored.

Granted, Due to a mix up at Wal-Mart you are named as their customer of the year and your picture appears alongside adverts of their store as though promoting their wares. They call you "Mr Wal-mart" and that is what all your friends now call you.

I wish I had a nice cup of coffee on my desk without having to go into the kitchen to make one.

Granted, and it is nice, but it's also weeks old.

I wish my sunburn would go away.

Granted, you contract leprosy and all your sunburnt skin falls off.

I wish I had a greenhouse.

Granted! you are locked inside of it on a 100 degree day. thank god you have the garden hose to drink cool 60 degree water from. you survive like this for 1 week before someone finds you.

I wish i could go in a greenhouse dressed in neoprene

Granted, you are locked in a greenhouse in a neoprene body suit. However, they get the size wrong. This one is a little too large for you:

I wish for a good night's sleep.

Granted Enjoy your spinal surgery with 12 hours of anesthesia!

The body suit would be so big i would be INSIDE of the suit...

I wish i could be wrapped in a giant blood pressure cuff made of smoothskin neoprene like my neoprene shirt show below



and have said cuff inflate around me making it tight warm and sticky all over my body

Granted, but wait... where is your air supply? you suffocate.

I wish I had a larger dorm room.

Granted! Its the whole dorm building but you gotta clean it all!

I wish that i had nothing but a small tube to breathe! while in that cuff!

Granted! The cuff is too small for you!

I wish I could know what is wrong with my vision.

Grante! you have macular degeneration!

I wish the cuff were just big enough for me

Granted - the cuff is just big enough for you....but is lined with sandpaper.

I wish for no hurricanes to hit our stupid peninsula this week.

Granted! an earthquake hits

I wish it was lined with smoothskin neoprene!

Granted, but it turns out you're terribly allergic to the synthetic rubbers in neoprene and it gives you hives.

I wish...for a pony ^^

Granted, here is a "My Pony" to keep with your Barbie doll.

I wish for a cup of fresh ground coffee.

Granted! We're out of water, just the grounds for you, sir.

I wish there were two of me.