Corrupt A Wish

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Granted! You finally have the baby!

I wish I had beautiful long, straight, black hair

Granted, But your beautiful long, straight, black hair ends up reaching to your feet in a thick curtain, all 360 degrees. This causes you to be mistaken for the cousin of cousin It.

I wish there were more Pokémon fans.

Granted, however this wish makes you the prime target of the Pokemon resistance Army and you die under suspicious circumstances.

I wish, I hadn't made this stupid mistake in my C++ exam!

Granted, but you make mistakes on the rest of the exam.

I wish that rockets never fail and their satelites reach their targets.

Granted, but the world becomes obsessed with making satellites and rockets - so global warming reaches higher levels, the ice caps melt, the hole in the ozone layer increases and life crumbles away.

I wish people would start to respect the environment and help reduce greenhouse gases.

Granted. Mother Earth gains sentience and demands unconditional worship. (No animal sacrifices allowed.)

I wish I could relive the last ten years of my life.

Granted, you relive them in a coma-generated dream sequence.

I wish my car could fly.

Granted. It's confiscated by NASA in order to (allegedly) do some tests on it.

I wish I were irresistibly attractive.

You are irresistibly attractive to mosquitos everywhere.

I wish I could leave work early (not because of some type of emergency or illness).

Granted. You're fired. Your boss wants you out of the building by noon.

I wish I could stop time at will.

Granted. But you experience the aging of every human for as long as time is stopped.

I wish I could have a successful career in the music industry.

Granted, but people like the songs for the music and not the message.


I wish I could live forever and learn every language on earth possible. Loneliness isn't a problem for me and I'm used to see everything die, so that isn't a problem for me. Memory is good too.

Granted. You're God. Now half the world wants to kill the other half over silly questions as how many personalities you have.

I wish for mass-scale telepathy.

WTF?

Fine, now you hear the thoughts of all creatures ever in existence.


I wish I had my gene for telomerase production activated with no harmful side effects.

Granted
But there is more to longevity than telomeres....

A new motor-scooter..