Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but they never do, thus you have lived for nothing.

I wish I had a pilot's lisense.

Granted
But you croak exactly one day after Wal-Mart does because
some of your new telomeres were from Wal-Mart...

Extended range for my Segway...

Granted, but now it putts along at 0.000000000000000000000001 MPH, due to the added weight.

I wish I could go to the world of pokemon, and keep in touch with this world.

Granted. Now you know the awful truth: the pokemon world has no animals, and the only source of meat are... pokemon themselves! Returning to the real world only makes you sicker as you wonder what feelings cows and pigs may be unable to express to us.

I wish I had a Death Note.

OK, I should have included some context. Death Note is a Japanese anime series. In its storyline, a death note is a magical notebook that can be used to kill people by just writing down their names.

About Event Horizon, granted. Horror removed. Its alternate universe is now the land of Carebears.

I wish I had a Death Note as described above.

"Pablo Escobar" There, would that work? Don't think that's your name,
but would it improve your life?


I want Carebears to be the test subjects for the Gateway!! !

Please don't get mad, you know this thread is for joking purposes.

In case you're talking about the gateway in Event Horizon, granted. Alas, the Carebears shoot their shiny rays at you in vengeance, and take your stunned body with them.

I wish those guys at Warner made a live-action series continuing the Matrix storyline.

Granted... But that wish is corrupt on its own. *shudder* The live action series is so bad that it is considered to be good by the critics. It plays nonstop on every channel.

I wish I could be apprentice to Tim the Enchanter.

Granted! Tim the [b]lobster[b] Enchanter.

I wish I could teleport.

Granted. But you can only teleport back and forth between a rock and a hard place. Literally.

I wish entropy could be reversed.

Granted, but now no chemical reactions occur, heat no longer transfers from high temperature to low temperature, nobody can walk or move because friction no longer provides traction.

I wish my birds would quit fighting and get along peacefully.

Granted, but then when you buy a new bird he bullies them, yet the bullied birds still do not fight him and so they die of torture.

I wish I was not starting to feel some sort of attraction to one of my college professors. He is probably married!!

Granted. Now you find him extremely repulsive. Indeed, you have to quickly devise a suitable explanation for why you have a violent vomiting spell each time you see him.

I wish interaction with NTs came with subtitles.

Granted, NTs now write subtitles on your forehead with an indelible marker.

I wish I had broadband