Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. But you have none.

I wish I had a meerkat.

Granted, but it is extremely vicious and tries to bite your head off every time you go near it.

I wish it would hurry up and be Friday so I can go to Reno.

Granted. But you missed the news they aired on Thursday about a mass-killer runaway in the Reno area.

I wish I could tell for sure whether my crush is avoiding me on purpose or not.

Granted. Instead, your crush appears from a trapdoor in your house and announces they have a crush on you, and starts following you everywhere.

I wish I could play the synthesizer.

Granted. You are now able to play the original analog Moog. Enjoy making music one note at a time.


I wish I weren't stuck at my workplace riding out this storm.

Granted, your workplace is ripped to pieces by the storm leaving you stranded in the middle of it.

I wish I wasn't sick.

Granted! your dead!

I wish i could not be nauseaus from surgery done LAST TUESDAY

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted. The surgery accidentally severed your vagus nerve. You won't have a gut feeling again.

I wish I weren't expected to congratulate people I don't like on their birthdays.

Granted, you no longer have to congratulate them. You now have to SING for them!


I wish I could still sing.

Granted. You can still sing... off key.


I wish that I had more time.

Granted. You are permantly stuck in today. Have fun.

I wish that I was a voice actor.

Granted. You are now a voice actor. However, every one of your performances is universally panned.


I wish that I had more money.

Granted but you are hated by civilization for being "rich"

I wish bush was out of office finally

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted. The President signs a surrender of the U.S. before the British Empire. Now you're a colony again. God save the queen!

I wish it wouldn't take so long to pursue my degree in journalism.

Granted, you instead are rewarded a degree in neurology. By 12 noon your time tomorrow.

I wish I had a moped.

Granted. Alas, it's the eco-friendly model. It runs on soylent green.

I wish the Japanese language abandoned the use of ideograms and switched to fully phonetic writing.