Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, I think. I'm not sure I understand what you are wishing for. So I grant your wish you are crowned Miss-Understood of the world.

I wish I was asleep.

Granted. 19 day coma.

I wish I could jump 9 feet or more.

Granted, you jump over the feet of four people and land on the second foot of the fifth person (jumping 9 feet) this makes them very cross at you!

I will I didn't take things so literally.

Granted. Now you think in parables.

I wish I were more athletic.

Granted, but have you ever tried buying running shoes for a donkey?

I wish it was tomorrow today.

Granted, and thank you very much for messing up the space-time continuum.

I wish we found alien life forms.

Granted, it turns out that YOU are an alien and the NSA want to dissect you (while you are still alive) to find out all about your biology.

I wish cheese didn't keep me awake.

Granted. Now cheese just KOs you.

I wish I could become fairy.

Granted, you are now extremely camp.

I wish it was Friday today.

Granted. You are charged the reprinting costs of all the world's calendars.

I wish people weren't so obsessed about soccer.

Granted, the world becomes obsessed with table football instead.

I wish there were no sporting events on television.

Granted. Now it's bullfighting all the time.

I wish every food had cherries in it.

Granted, but you find you are suddenly allergic to cherries. They make you break out in a hideous-looking and intensely itchy rash.

I wish I could put out a record and tour Australia.

Granted, but you learn the Australian Salute.



I wish that I wasn't just threatened and that they won't ban me. Wal-Mart is enough.

Granted. You'll never be threatened or banned; instead, you'll be imprisoned here forever.

I wish I could have all the records I want, thereby establishing the world's largest record collection.