Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. You're so private that clients don't know where to find you.

I wish I didn't ruin every opportunity that comes at me.

Granted. Opportunities cease to come.

I wish my cats would get along.

Granted, your cats now get along very well. In fact they like the company of other cats so much they invite all the strays from your neighbourhood to live with you and you come home to a house with a hundred cats.

I wish it is sunny tomorrow.

Granted - the sun will go nova.

I wish George Lucas would stop making Star Wars movies.

Granted, but he takes up making romantic comedies and all the actors are computer graphics. Nude.


I wish I had $50 and was going to the mall.

Mmmm. Granted. Everything at the mall costs $51.

I wish I could find a fulfilling way to spend my afternoon.

Granted, you fiddle with the hands on a clock and forget what the original time is.

I wish my cat was less grumpy.

Granted, your cat ate some coffee beans, and is now on the ceiling. Good luck getting it down.

I wish I had a hover bike.

You now have a hover bike, but its off switch is broken, nowhere to keep it, and hover bikes have been declared illegal.

I wish I had a good book to read.

Granted, but you are now severely dyslexic.


I wish a really nice dinner was being prepared for me and I did not have to do any work.

Granted! You think fried dog turd is "nice"

I wish people would change their avatars more often.

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted. Now they're so busy changing their avatars all the time that they don't have time to post anymore.

I wish I could finish writing my novel before the end of this year.

Granted, you finish it on December 31 2008. However, during New Year celebrations the following day a stray firework lands on your house and burns it down and you novel is lost in the fire.

I wish you luck with the novel!

Granted! But i am not writing a novel therefore fail!

I wish I could have the worlds largest blood pressure cuff

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but it's really sweaty from being on the world's largest man for 29 days.

I wish I looked forward to going to work.

Granted! But you hate it after work.

I wish i could have the giant blood pressure cuff wrapped around me entirely

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM