Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but when it is tightened, all your internal organs pop out of your mouth.


I wish I was a judge at the Westminster dog show.

Granted, but it is so large that dark energy is actually causing it to speed away from you at 100000 LtYrs/(s^2)

I wish I had a sandwich

Botti, your wish is granted. The Westminster Giant dog show. We are talking in the range of 10 feet and above.

traveller011212, your wish is granted. Staples, monkey wrench, and roofing tar between two pieces of bread. Yum.

I wish I had a Nintendo Wii.

Your wish is granted but you are literally all thumbs and unable to use it.

I wish it was Christmas.

Granted, your changed intop a shadow and you get thrown back in time and get to watch the crucification and suffering first hand but your powerless to do anything about it.








I wish everyone could hear and feel what others think and feel and understand them with no language boundaries.

Granted, but this leads to the rise of the thought police. If anyone ever has a thought contrary to the ruling dictatorship they get shot with a fast acting painless lethal injection bullet.


I wish I didn't have to work for a living and could live happily in a cave in the Himalayas.

Granted, but you are an endangered bear.


I wish I had a Vespa scooter.

Granted, you now have a Vespa and a loan for the Vespa at 33% interest.

I wish my company weren't in a hiring freeze.

Granted. They now hire anyone who walks in, even clients. They now have a 'letting personnel go' freeze.

I wish knew how to make a sword.

Granted! Enjjoy your job as a blacksmith

I wish people would read my threads

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, you are startled in the middle of the night by people standing in your room reading every article of clothing that you have.

I wish I had a billion dollars.

Granted. In pennies.

I wish my moods weren't so shifty.

Grantet, but it's caused by an overdose of drugs. I wish my beard was thicker.

Granted! Its so thick that when your girlfriend kisses you she says ick

I wish my new wheelchair parts wereh ere

_________________
check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, but they don't fit so you are immobile for another week.



I wish I was eating a nice steak dinner.

Granted. Enjoy your monkey steak.

I wish my son had not been kicked out of daycare today. (okay, don't corrupt that)
I wish people were more understanding.