Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but you have to have a Skinny chick put them on you





I wish My brother would stop muttering...

Granted, now he speaks at the low frequency range of 2-4hz and only at or above 140 decibels. Let us know if the brown note is real!

I wish I got paid exorbitant amounts of money to write.

Granted, but it is the classified ads you are writing.


I wish I had a new Mini Cooper car.

Granted. With malfunctioning hydraulics system.

I wish I had a hover bike.

Granted, but the user's manual specifies that it hovers only if it's not in or near the gravity well of any celestial body.

I wish I were more attractive to women.

Granted! But you now find women repulsive.

I wish I had a bigger bed.


M.

Granted, just not the type of women you like.



I wish I were cuter.

Granted. You are however, Omniscient. Now your clients will do even worse.

I wish I were a Mew.

Granted. But there was a typo, and now you're a muu-muu.

I wish I didn't keep getting skipped.


M.

Granted, now people answer every one of your posts with the word "orange"

I wish someone would resurrect the "describe the above poster in one word" thread

Granted - all submissions must be done in hieroglyphs (font not provided).

I wish I had an endless supply of ginger beer.


M.

Granted. It's simultaneously injected through all your body orifices and you explode.

I wish my keyboard didn't skip letters in the worst moments.

Granted, it adds an extra "s" every time you type the word "hit".

I wish I were a *little* bit taller....

Granted. You're a nanometer taller.

I wish the Chinese adopted alphabetic writing.

Granted, but now no one understands what they're writing.



I kinda wish I had something tasty to eat.