Corrupt A Wish

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Granted, but s/he brings all of his/her 47 cousins along.

I wish my next assignment leaves a great impression on my teacher.

Granted, your teacher now has the impression of a forty pound book on his/her head.


I wish that food wasn't fattening.

Granted. Now water, air and sunlight are fattening.

I wish my cell phone could do the same tasks my previous one did.

Granted. Your new cellphone also doubles as a paperweight.

I wish for days to have 36 hours.

Granted! But that just gives me more time to rave about neoprene on WP thus annoying yo... you become so annoyed you reverse the wish

I wish more people in the world loved neoprene.

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Granted! Everyone is just like you!

I wish my dog didn't scratch his ass on my leg because of fleas.

Granted, you are a double amputee.

I wish I had a really cool Halloween shirt.

Granted! Your shirt scares the little kids.

I wish I had a cooler Halloween costume!

Granted, no costume necessary you are now a ghost.




I wish we had less stuff in our over crowded trailer.

Granted, trailer gets repossessed.

I wish I knew the art of falconry.

Granted, falconry isn't exactly an art.

I wish I had an income for independance.

Granted, you live quite successfully as a bum on the quarters that people throw you.


I wish I had a group of friends to play Dungeons and Dragons with.

Granted, they would never let you be dungeon master haha =p

I wish there were more interesting things to look at in the night sky.

Granted, enjoy the UFOs and subsequent radiation burns and anal probing.

I wish the pulled muscle in my leg would heal more quickly.

Granted but you are now a quickly regenerating starfish.


I wish I had a moped.

Granted. Batteries not included.

I wish Sarah Palin returned to being the Ms. Nobody she was until last month.