Corrupt A Wish

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OK you get to go to a new cheap ethnic food restaurant, the food tastes good but you get food poisoning.

I wish that my dog would grow wings and then learn to fly, I would like her to fly behind me as I walk to work and fly around the outside of the building which I work in. She would be able to fly to the sea and catch fish so I would never need to buy her dog food again, but she would always come back each evening so she could sleep at the bottom of my bed.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

OK, then. She can fly, but due to her new-found power, she will then become aggressive towards you and bite you at sight.

I wish my prospective employers contact me and tell me I'm accepted in both of the jobs I'm applying for.

Granted! you work 24 hours now. enjoy!

I wish companies would not mark up oximeter accessories so horridly!

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check out my website at {redacted by admin - domain taken over and points to a porn site}

When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Oximeters are now cheap and easy to obtain. However you now have no need of an oximeter your biochemistry has changed you have become an anaerobic lifeform. The problem is that oxygen is toxic to you as it messes with your chemistry, so you have to find an anaerobic place to live.

I wish that I could have a flying dog as asked for before, but she will still love me and never want to bite me.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but the dog will drop doggy poop down while flying.

I wish I knew which job I wanted to have.

Granted, but you can't actually get the job.

I wish my shoes aren't so tight with my soles in.

Your shoes are no longer tight, they have disappeared into a different world. The aliens landed last night and walked into your bed room. They found your shoes and thought that they were something important. So they ran off with them.

I wish that I had a magic fridge which was always full of nice tasting food, which appeared from nowhere for free each day. The fridge would fill up with cider, fine wine, dog food, steak, posh fish, fruit and vegtables as fast as I could eat it. The fridge would even make suggestions of how to cook the food, and if I was about to eat too much the fridge would give diet advice to me.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted. You will have that magic fridge, but inside that fridge is a monster who will eat all the food inside, including the fridge's owner.

I wish time would slow down, so I can do everything I need to do before the start of my work day.

Granted, but time never speeds up again.

I wish I had a video store in my town.

Granted! They only rent and sell Laserdisk and Betamax tapes.

I wish I had a pet platypus.

Granted; but that platypus has poisonous claws and is aggressive, and it will scratch you at sight.

I wish I can control time with a single remote controller.

Granted, but you drop the remote and break it, which distorts the space/time continuum and destroys the entire universe.

I wish I had a 50 ft. girlfriend.

OK you get the 50 foot young lady. The problem is that you can never kiss her as she is too tall for you to kiss her while she is standing up. or sitting up. She finds your use of stilts to be unromantic so while the two of you like each other you can never kiss.

I wish for a magic kitchen which is always cooking good and enjoyable food, without any humans working in it. It also would not use any gas, oil, wood or electric power.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, but someone else will eat the food and there'snothing left for you.

I wish my fellow patients would stop listening to loud music from 8:00 AM-1:30 AM each day.

Granted; they will, however, do so from 1:30 am to 8:00 am, and annoy you for the rest of the times.

I wish for a good night sleep.

You get a good nights sleep as long as the sun is not in the sky. Also you can not stay awake unless you are exposed to sunlight. The problem is that you are moved to northen Norway. So for half the year you get no sleep and the other half of the year you sleep non stop.

I wish that I could play the Evita music on a set of bag pipes.

_________________
Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.