Corrupt A Wish

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Granted; but the bag pipes are out of tune, and play the wrong melody.

I wish I have a car.

Granted; You are now the proud owner of a car. And a $550.00 a month car payment.

I wish I had at least one good friend.

Granted! its your next door neighbor who smokes weed.

I wish I could have more friends who physically live closer.

Granted: 20 friends will move in with you. You will be constantly overloaded from all the need to socialize.

I wish there weren't so many other computer "addicts" on my ward, so I had more time to go online.

GRANTED! they all hate computers and smash it to pieces

i wish the stupid 4.0 serial for Parallels desktop would work with the 5.0 beta!

Granted; but your other programs will crash instead.

I wish I could teleport to places I wanted to go, so I could go to appointments without being late.

OK you teleport, all goes well until you teleport into a solid block of concrete by mistake.

I wish that my dog could bark in morse code, and that I could understand morse.

Granted. The only code she could say, however, is:
._ ._. .._.
._ ._. .._.
._ ._. .._.

I wish I could control the heads of my employers, and dictate to them everything I want, from the time I want to go to work, to raising my salary significantly. (I get a good salary, though; I simply want more.)

Why would the dogs say ARF ? They would be more likely to say .-- --- --- ..-. (woof)

Anyway you get busted, you try your trick in the UK. I am sure that the UK has a law against sending a psychic message for profit. You go to jail where they make you sew mail sacks all day. Or worse still you get burnt for witchcraft.

I wish that I could predict the movement of exchange rates, it would then allow me to make a lot of money !

Granted! But they find out your ability and the banks now use you as their exchange rate computation consultant. you get paid minimum wage to sit in a darkened room with a keyboard and food.

I wish that hackers like ECHO would go to #&*!

Granted. But the only predictions you can make are fall-downs. You cannot detect rises, and therefore get confused.

I wish I could be able to make more money without losing it.

Granted. You make more money without losing it. However, the quality of the bills you create is so poor, that no-one will accept them.



I wish that I had my own tea garden.

Granted. The tea garden is located in the ruins of Auschwitz.

I wish that flying unicorns were real.

Yes, there will be real flying unicorns; they, however, constantly take dumps, and their poo lands on your head.

I wish I am extremely rich, will never be poor, and will have an absolutely perfect life with all my whims and caprices fulfilled without question!

Granted, but since you'll get used to allt he luxury pretty soon, you'll never get satisfied anyway.

I wish vv guy who is watching tv now won't turn it on too loudly.

Granted. The "guy" turns off the TV, and turn on his stereo. He plays Megadeath so loud, your lighting fixtures start to rattle, and the bulbs burn out.


I wish that I could have all the scientific equipment I desired. (SEM, STM, ASIC Foundry, &c).