Corrupt A Wish

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You can have something to eat, a nice slide of cake. But the wrong planet naoscience team have just made a cake using a customised AFM which is 100 Å by 100 Å by 20 Å. Enjoy your cake !

I wish that I could move objects using the force of my mind.

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Health is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity I am not a jigsaw, I am a free man !

Diagnosed under the DSM5 rules with autism spectrum disorder, under DSM4 psychologist said would have been AS (299.80) but I suspect that I am somewhere between 299.80 and 299.00 (Autism) under DSM4.

Granted, your neck muscles get tired and your head tilts downward, because of the force, or weight, of your mind.



I wish that I had a good career that I liked, that it pays well, that I get along perfectly with my coworkers, and that I have 100% job security.

Granted, but you have to work for 24 hours, non-stop!

I wish I was on holiday in America right now.

Granted. You will be on holiday. Forever. That means no work. No money. In other words, you go broke.

I wish I get rest and wake up the next day with full energy!

Granted, you wake up with full energy but you lose it rapidly forcing you to sleep at least every two hours.

I wish I could stop bitting my nails and have them look nice.

Granted, no corruption. Your nails look nice and you are able to stop biting them.


I wish I had a job, and one that would not absorb my life by scheduling my hours all over the clock, so that I can still concentrate on school.

Granted! You are not hired.

I wish my TV worked properly.

Granted. Your TV starts working again, but you have become addicted to TV tropes.

I wish for lettuce.

Granted, but the bill to repair the TV costs more than the price of replacement, so you get out a screwdriver set and soldering iron and start fishing for the problem yourself, but without knowing that cathode ray tubes hold a lethal charge...

Edit: Granted, but the lettuce is Iceberg Lettuce.



I wish I could just finish reading these last two pages of my business textbook without falling asleep.

Granted, but you can never fall asleep again. Though you don't die from sleep deprivation, you just don't need sleep anymore.

I wish my unintelligent guinea pig was more intelligent but not to the point of world domination. (I do love that little piggy)

Granted, he only takes over most of the world but not all of it, so he's not dominating the world... just most of it. And he is smart too.



I wish that I could read faster, or at least stay awake while reading boring textbooks.

Granted. You read faster, but then those textbooks are written in a language no human can ever understand. Therefore, reading such books are pointless.

I wish I have unlimited money.

Granted, your bank accounts now have this symbol: ∞, and for a while you can buy anything. However, since there is no record of a deposit of this amount, there are some accountants at the bank who wish to speak with you. Also, come tax season, the IRS wants to discuss personally how much your taxes will be since now you have an infinite amount of money, and they want 40% of it.



I wish I could understand all languages, regardless of the abilities of all other humans.

Granted: you can now understand all languages however you are stricken mute.

I wish my apartment building would allow me to have any pets I want at no additional fee.

*Muffled attempts at making a reply*

Ok, you can talk again but you can no longer understand any language besides American English.

I still wish my apartment building would let me have any critter with out an additional fee.