Corrupt A Wish

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Granted; but the health department finds out about that, and then they have you evicted from your apartment unit.

I wish I can dictate my company for everything: pay, schedule, and what calls to take.

Granted, but you do not have the resources to keep the company afloat. As a result, you're fired.

I wish I could choose what to hear from my parents.

Granted; but you will have a reverser in your ear; so when you choose what to hear from your parents and they say it, it will be the other way around when you hear it.

I wish I can gain money without working for it.

Granted but it's only $0.01 per 100 years.

I wish children had a mute button.

Granted, now daycare schools are super quiet. However, all the sonic energy that they've been meaning to expelled is stored up until the mute button is turned off... leading to the vaporization of anything in front of the child in a similar effect to the sonic disruptor tanks of Command & Conquer Tiberian Sun.



I wish that I will be able to start a few small businesses that will be successful, so I can have income, be my own boss, and save up for an event...

Granted. You'll run bankrupt the first day you open your businesses...

I wish I can strangle some hard-headed freak who doesn't comply to the obvious...

Granted, you can but you may not.



I wish to know who the "hard-headed freak who doesn't comply to the obvious..." is.

Granted. You'll only know it in due time. And that due time is indefinite.

I wish I have the power to do anything and everything.

Granted, you are now omnipotent... for the total length of time of 1.21 picoseconds.



I wish I had two 0.5 Watt red laser diodes and driver circuits. Also, two TNG season 3-7 Type II Phaser housings, for extra coolness.

That's cool. You'll have them. They will break down even before you take hold of them.

I wish I could wish for something good.

Granted by tautological default, you can always wish for something good.



I wish that this wish would not be granted.

Denied.

I wish for something great to happen.

Granted: a great flood, tornado, fire, and earth quake all happen at your precise location simultaneously

I wish people where unable to lie.

Granted, now lawyers defending people as innocent as OJ Simpson will have an extremely difficult time making their case.




I wish that family politics were abolished.

Granted; cronyism will be rampant instead.

I wish I were the ruler of the world.

Granted but there would be a coup the following day.

I wish I could run a successful football (soccer) team.