Corrupt A Wish

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Granted. However, the virus mutates and infects ALL plants on the planet except for Brussels sprouts. Thus that becomes the only plant people can eat on the planet.

I wish I was a virus.

Granted, but you're being hunted by someone named Norton.

I wish that bread made from ground bones didn't taste awful.

Granted, Your tongue falls out and you can't taste it any more.

I wish there was something entertaining on television.

Granted, but it's all in Portuguese.

I wish that I knew where all of the dolphins suddenly disappeared to.

Due to a glitch in reality they are all hiding in i_wanna_blue's avatar and you seem to have got yourself trapped there too at the bottom of the ocean!

I wish I could interface to my computer with thoughts alone.

Granted, your face is now a computer!.... Wait!.... Interface to your computer? I've made a mistake!.... You're on your own!

I wish I never made mistakes.

Granted. However due to budget cuts in the wish granting department, we have to get creative.
You have stopped existing. You cannot make mistakes if you do not exist.

I wish for a Pikachu of my own.

Granted, but it refuses to get into the little ball, and you can't understand it, but it's making crass jokes.

I wish for something pink and squishy.

Granted. I give you some used bubble gum.

I wish I had my own holodeck and the whole collection of Vulcan Love Slave.

Granted, wait, wtf?


I wish I hadn't comprehended that.

Granted! you can't comprehend ANYTHING thusly you cannot post on WP or read any books, bust...

I wish to have my own stock market listing

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When in doubt, ask an autistic. Chances are, they're obsessed with what you need to know.

Autism Speaks will NEVER speak for me

CLASSIC AUTISM

Granted, just in time to see your shares crash.

I wish I had a million shares in Microsoft.

Granted, however it is after they issue 1 quintillion shares, so your million shares is less than a 0.0000000001% of total.




I wish that there were no death and that resources were infinite.

Granted, you get put into prison for eternity with infinite resources to keep you there.

I wish I could learn things by plugging a jack into my brain like in the Matrix.

Granted, but the jack puts you into a potato-like state, and you never return to normal.

I wish I had more anime DVDs.

Granted, but it's all dubbed... Badly.

I wish that I could make llamas from wood.