Anyone Else Get Upset When Kids Run All Over Their Yard?

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When I was a kid, I didn't go in peoples yards. I was taught by my mother it was not okay. I only went on peoples property if I was going to their front door. I was only in peoples yards if one of my belongings landed in their yard. I only went in their yard if I was over there playing.

But I don't have a yard so it doesn't bother me.

I can sense some people being offended by the things that are being said, on both sides of the fence, so to speak.

I think it's fair to say that not all parents are bad parents and children really shouldn't be referred to as spawns. However, there's some accommodation and understanding here because Bethie is obviously upset by a situation that continually causes her anxiety. That being said, we accept the premise that Bethie is rightfully upset, not that all parents who have children who run around are automatically bad, even though some parents really are pretty bad.

Likewise, it's fair to say that a grown woman shouldn't be violating someone else's space. Even if she's going to be rude enough to cut across a lawn to visit a friend, she could keep her eyes straight ahead and not peer into someone's home. She could even walk further away from the windows to make sure there's a respectful amount of space. There is something called the Expectation of Privacy. This protects someone who is doing something in their home and even in their yard from being photographed and treated as if they were in a public space and that's kind of what we're talking about here. I think it's fair that a mom can breastfeed in her home as disrobed as she wishes without needing to accommodate the possibility of someone looking in her windows.

What's wrong with referring to kids as spawn? I call mine that all the time.

What you call your kids does not make the rule for what's okay for people to call other people's kids.

I'm pretty sure the Bethie's neighbor's kids aren't living with an understanding that she loves them more than her own life so referring to them as "spawn" is an affectionate term.

Honestly. Did I really have to explain that in this section of the forum?

That's not what I meant. I've never considered 'spawn' name calling so I don't get why calling someone else's kids that is such a bad thing.

It's actually considered derogatory in the mainstream. It's hip for parents to affectionately do it with their own kids, but it's a common term used in childfree insults.

Oh, I see. I did not know that.

My tiny front yard has rosebushes. Big, old, thorny ones. I suspect any kids who tried to play there would be a lot more upset than me, but I'd still be waving a broom and yelling . Most of the houses in my area are so close to the street they don't have room for lawn, but there are parks every few streets for the kids to run around in.

I remember that in one house my parents lived in, my mother had big beautiful rose bushes planted and tended. The old people in the neighborhood were constantly coming up to our house (which was through private gates and a ways off the street/sidewalk) to smell and pick the roses! My mother would yell at them. I'd just watch them. One old lady spotted me watching her through the window and she high-tailed it back out to the street.

I guess if my mother cared about making friends, she would've hosted a tea party social for the old ladies to come enjoy her landscaping; but, she had a lot of paranoia topped on her social anxiety so I don't think she would've ever considered solving the trespassing problem by being gracious to the trespassers.

I'm having a little bit of a problem with this, too, but it's not the kids' fault. I'm renting and my elderly landlord (she lives elsewhere on the property in a ranch home, I live over her garage in a seperate apartment) has given permission to the next door neighbors to basically do whatever they want in my/our yard.

The kids do run around in the yard, get noisy and leave toys and garbage strewn around, but they're kids and are kind of cute, too. (The other might they were pretending to catch zombies and it was pretty entertaining). The father, though, is another story. He runs a landscaping business and has a ton of work trucks that he doesn't have room for on his property, so he parks them in my/our driveway. A few times, I've gotten blocked in--in my own driveway. He is also in the habit of fixing and testing out his work equipment (ie. leaf blowers, chain saws, etc.) directly below my bedroom window, on the very edge of his property line at odd hours, like 11pm or (like today) at 6am. I mean, he has a garage and a sizable yard, why right under my window??

I don't really feel I can expect the kids to respect their neighbors' property, if their father is as oblivious and inconsiderate as he is. I'll see how things go and want to keep the peace with both the neighbors and my landlord, but may need to speak up at some point.

As long as they don't run through my garden, I'm fine with it.

Unfortunately, I think you'll have to. If the kids have been given permission, I see the point in putting up with them. Other than demanding that they come back over and pick up after themselves (which any sane parent would support you doing), I don't know what else you could do about that. However, his behavior is beyond the pale and shouldn't be happening. I once lived next door to a landlord and his kids (who were grown with their own homes) thought that because he owned my house, it was perfectly okay to park in my driveway. They blocked me in once. It was like, we got home, went in the house to grab something so we could go again, came back out to find them parked behind us and nowhere in sight. They were in sight, though, just not in my direct line of sight and they plainly watched me come out the front door, throw up my arms and exclaim, "Oh! What the f*ck?!" LOL They never parked in my driveway again.

Haha this got me laughing so hard. I had the same problem but finally had the courage to confront them. They meant well but they have trouble getting to the office, lake and pool which is just across the street from me. They have to walk a long way around the block just to get to it. I told them that it was alright to walk across my yard as long as they didn't walk on any of my plants or flower beds. I use to be a little bitter about kids but they'll wave at me and send me flowers the little suck ups

As for kids in general, I don't mind them so much being on my property but it's the destruction they cause. I remember one kid who tried to yank my little cherry tree out. I was so p1ssed I screamed at him which I don't normally do. This kid and his buddy love to think they own this trailer park. Some kids are jerks and some kids mean well they're just kids.

Never in my life would I have walked across, around, or behind someone's house without their permission as a child. If the neighbor didn't scream at me/scold me themselves, my parents would do it double for embarassing them. Respect isn't taught, generally speaking, like it was when we were kids. The things my daughter's friends do and say... I often give my daughter the look that says "don't you ever think about it" and she nods & shrugs - she doesn't get them, either. Meanwhile, because I expect my daughter to behave appropriately, I'm the "mean mom".

I think the OP has a right to be upset, and I would be too. You shouldn't have to live in a high-rise to have privacy.

LOL! I hear you, Bethie. I can't stand the little heathens running around in my yard either, especially when they steal things like my tiki torches and go into our garage and steal the cordless rechargeable screwdriver (but not the charger) and drink two beers and break the bottles on the floor. Vandals! Whomever is minding them should turn them loose in a park or somewhere so they can get their energy out and stay off my property.

Me too! They make little sacrifices on little altars in little heathen ceremonies, causes such a mess!