Um OK. I see nothing wrong with how that discussion was going in that forum, but whatever.
I've dated mainly NTs, a couple Aspies//probable Aspies and at the moment I prefer NTs. The reason is basic: I've worked very hard on my social skills and I like being out in the world, and AS men I've met are too resistant to changing themeselves (i.e., learning better social skills) and too socially isolated. I can be friends with them, to an extent. But even ebing friends I find they're so emotionally needy from they lack of social interaction that if you're friends with them, they just try to suck you into their own little, narrow world. That I find claustophobic. Plus I'm just not going to date a guy who's going to drag me down in my own personal development, NT or AS. If I met an AS guy who was socially on par with me and wasn't socially isolated, I would potentially date him (provided he wasn't unattractive in other significant ways).
Your current relationship sund somewhat familiar to myine with my ex-fiancee. I felt very claustophobic, he drags me to social activities (like his co-workers' softball games and his church functions) that made me feel very alienated and intruded upon, and his mom hated me. Needless to say, that relationship ended about as quickly as it started (we had goten engaged relatively fast). My ex wasn't an ex-con, but he did have a lot personal baggage he needed to deal with before he could be comfortable with my "quirks." His whole family had major issues too. In the end, I realized that I needed to take care of myself, and this family was too sick for me to be a part of it.
I think you probably should seriously reconsider why you want to get married to this guy. I can't see how being being engaged to a ex-con who's whole family is ex-cons and addicts (if there's one, there's probably more) gives you a sense of "normalcy." Actually, that's disturbing to read. These people sound like a pretty unhealthy bunch, so I doubt you're going to get much out of them in terms of sympathy or understanding. If there's a history of addiction in this family, there's also inevitably codependence and enabling too, and those behaviors just reinforce old habits. You're not going to change these people, and you're not going to change your fiance either. So if you don't like the situation now, you're going to really not like it oncee you're married. But that's your choice. if you're this desperate for something to seems like "normalcy" to you that you'll be this miserible (and probably make your child just, if not more, miserible), then hey, go for it. It's you're life.
No offense, honestly - it just seems obvious to me that this is a very bad situation. Not all NT families are like this - they not all unhealthy and unable to respect boundaries and people's differences. So don't judge all NTs by this family.
09 Oct 2007, 4:53 am
). Family and friends together usually meant loud, vocal and just plain stressful and he thrived on them. Blood was always thicker than water no matter what.... and his friends were his lifeline...always wanted someone around him.
