Say Something Random: psychological Conditions Version

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I'm starting to see how that the past half century of my life has been about merely laying the foundations for the rest of my life

This thought fills me with optimism

And also my intrusive thought seems to be onboard with this concept

Maybe I'm in sync with myself for the first time ever

. Hope that continues Babybird .... just sometimes looking back on how long it took me to get anywhere near a place similiar to yours . Did not fill me with smiles , but the mere fact that I made it to that level of understanding before something worse might of happened along the way is a refresher to to me. But it is certsinly NOT to say . Sometimes it can be a daily challenge to keep balanced . The amount of triggers that have built up over the years. Does not always allow me to put my best foot forward at times. But I have gotten a bit quicker at recognizing
the stuff in my own interactions with peeps . And everyso often even end up making genuine apologies when appropriate . Not So Much for them, but rather in my own growth personally . ( Never ever used to apologize .) but must admit ,not always recognizing , That something in a situation ,might have triggered a Lousy response by me.

Its good when you can learn about yourself through interactions with other people. I'm really getting into that these days and I really like it because it is how you get to know yourself better

I think my schizotypal personality disorder diagnosis was accurate really because this year (or maybe last) I discovered my blood relatives and found out that my brother has schizophrenia and so does my uncle (mothers brother) and he's been in hospital for most of his life

And I believe that schizotypal personality disorder is on the same spectrum so that's why I think my diagnosis was accurate

But when I got my diagnosis I didn't even know about anything to do with my brother or uncle so that's all really

This is what a bad day looks like for me after 15 years of intermittent therapy.

Just a bit of an unpleasant day. I am fine with things being a bit unpleasant. I prefer it to what comes after, which is being fine and dandy but freshly cognisant of the extent to which my head is a mess.

Oh I got stuck in my head a bit

Last edited by kuen on 21 Dec 2025, 9:02 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Our mom has traits associated with perfectionist behavior. She sees us as evil if we make a mistake as simple as putting the trash out too early, or not getting home at a time that she expects me to do. My sister and I have tried remaining patient with her, setting clear cut straightforward boundaries and rules, and that doesn’t work. She sees us in her eyes as abusers every time we try to compromise with her. She refuses. Mom is 72.

Summer 2015: I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

Two years later in the latter part of 2017, my sister was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Our mom has been in denial ever since much to the dismay of a pair of paternal uncles. They both believe that if a man has mental health issues, he will never be a real man and if a woman has issues, she is not worthy of love. My sister is openly asexual, but our uncles believe asexuality isn't real, that she's making it all up, and that she's using her age to get out of wanting a boyfriend.

Whenever I do something wrong and Mom sees it, she accuses me of doing it on purpose to try and make her mad regardless of the situation that causes it to happen.

Mom has never allowed me to interact with different kinds of people unless I tell her who, nor has ever allowed me to have a girlfriend.

"Who are you, and what are you doing with my son?"

I’m exhausted from the antics Mom and our uncles have towards me and my sister. Earlier this year, Mom told me to not see my therapist ever again, but I'm still seeing him secretly. My next appointment will be tomorrow
on December 22nd.

I’m 35 and my sister is 38. We're both unemployed and we both live with our mom. Whenever we try to talk about work, Mom guilt trips us into believing we don't want to work at all.

December 2021: I was hired for a seasonal position by the manager of a store where mostly everything could be purchased for cheap, at least $1. When Mom found out, she demanded details even though I told her that my boss wanted to speak with her. It didn't happen. The experience of making my own money was great.

I'm tired of being on EBT and my NT sister refuses to apply for EBT. She has never had a job. My NT sister has a very strong hatred of men because she believes in male stereotypes such as whenever a man is in a relationship, he's in it just for sex, men are violent, men are selfish, men love to cheat, etc.

Any clarifications you want I will gladly give, but what do you think?
Does our mom have mental health issues herself?

Oh gosh I'm really sorry, Anonymous Anonymous.

This sounds like significantly more than perfectionist behaviour to me. But I am not sure where that gets you. Your mother doesn't seem like someone who will seek help or open herself to an external perspective.

It is very hard to live in a controlled space with someone whose perceptions of you are distorted. I think you have done extremely well for yourself.


I think this is especially impressive

You are at uni, no? Do you have plans for after?

I think if you can get yourself into a different environment, you might be surprised at the difference it makes.

November 2025: I underwent my first colonoscopy. The results were mixed, but when Mom was told the results, she had a hissy fit expecting nothing to be found. Many growths, called polyps, were found and the majority were removed, but a big one was not.

December 2nd: I underwent my first CT scan. The results were good despite gallstones being found.

December 11th: I met with the lead surgeon who will oversee the surgery.

December 12th: I met with my regular doctor.

January 6th, 2026: I will meet with my neurologist.

January 8th, 2026: The surgery will happen.

Hopefully the surgery will be done Laptoscopically .. small incision . But my friends said to watch your diet . Not exactly sure what that might be ? Just a thought offering

Best of luck AA

My mind changes in funny ways sometimes

It will be done using machines with the surgery to take about 2-3 hours.

I will be in recovery for about three days.

It's interesting to think about how many people each and every person can be at any one time

That's a lot of people
I'm thinking my head must be overpopulated

Some people reach out and some people reach in

What does it mean when it says that depression is feeling numb? I feel very deeply when depressed, all these negative emotions at once. Maybe it just means you feel numb from positive emotions?

Do they mean something like anhedonia? With that you lose capacity to experience pleasure or positive emotions. So emotions -> pain of some description.

And also there is a loss of volition, so it is harder to move or start to do things... glug glug grey inertia / pain / greyness / pain, in varying proportions.

How are you doing, Tamaya?