OCD Support Thread

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I can totally relate. I just get more anxious and mad at myself until I snap and take it out on others. I also get depressed, but the depression lifts as soon as the obsession stops. I am constantly telling myself I'm ill/unhealthy, so somebody telling me I'm healthy would really help . I've been to therapy and I am still currently in it. Mindfulness techniques never worked for me, but distracting sometimes does. To be honest, I can resist the compulsion, but then I feel so horrible for months on end and I would rather just do the compulsion and not feel so terribly sad and weak anymore. It really hurts. I'm doing a little better at the moment, I would say, but I'm nowhere near "normal." Thanks for posting and giving me encouragement, by the way . It helps to know I'm not alone.

Mindfulness techniques didn't work for me either when I was 13. I'd try, maybe feel a tiny fraction better, and get more frustrated. It took time, and trying different variations, using the techniques at different times, and especially getting used to doing them while I was less anxious. They help, and finding new thoughts I can believe, and lots of breathing, and plenty of distractions and interests. Laughing at the irrationality helps too, especially when I can laugh with someone. After all this time, I still have to remind myself of all these things so I beat myself up less.

You're not alone with your obsessions and compulsions. I started finding some solace in talking to other people who deal with this, when I was about 17, online. I'm glad you're getting to do that a lot sooner.

Does anyone's OCD cause shutdowns , meltdowns or sensory issues?

Meltdowns: check!
Shutdowns: check! (Or some version of a shutdown)
Sensory Issues: no, that's my autism ! Stress makes them get worse, though.

I shutdown completely, when overexposed to sensory input that is problematic for me. I am more prone to shutting down, than melting down, but, in recent weeks Ive melted down on a few occasions. All of the above, if not handled timely and efficiently, will inevitably lead to experiencing OCD symptoms. <--only speaking for myself. Can be different for different people.

Yup! I find a lot of my meltdowns are triggered more by sensory difficulties and needing routine and repetitive behavior, but stress can definitely cause them as well.

How are you today?

Stress/anxiety can absolutely trigger (and perpetuate) mine, too. Sorry, I havent read through the thread in quite sometime, and it appears there's been quite a bit of activity. Will have a look-see, soon. Just arrived and came directly to this thread.

Thank you for asking, SSF. Assuming you want the real answer, I had a very good, productive day, today. Nervous as heck since arriving here, however. All good, though. I've acquired more tools in recent days. Im looking at being on the forum, as exposure therapy. : ) How are you doing, SSF? I hope very well!

Please don't push yourself too much with your exposure therapy. I tried that once and it got worse. I just doing want you having horrific anxiety from reading things on Wrongplanet. Take it slow, for your own health, please!

I'm glad you are doing well . I am doing pretty good at the moment as well! I have been able to post a lot more in the General Autism Discussion today, which was nice.

Thank you for your concern for me. It means a lot. I made a decission, earlier today, to avoid certain areas and types of discussions, here. I bookmarked on my laptop (not on WP), the discussions I am interested in and where I feel the least anxious. I am also using avoidance strategies, to combat my stress. But, if I refrain from coming here, I may lose my ability/courage to return in the future, as it can be extremely, anxiety provoking for me, on occasion. I have Identified what it is, now, that is making me anxious, and I will do my best to curb my anxiety, here. I do take breaks from the forum, when needed, so, you can rest assured, I will take good care of myself/my well-being, SSF. Thank you very much, again, for your concern! I appreciate it/you, very much!

So glad to hear that you are doing well, too, and that you've been posting more!

No problem! I get what you mean more now. I'm glad you have worked out a way to still be able to post and check certain forums whilst still having fun in other ones. It's good to have exposure, but not too much to the point where it gets overloading, in my opinion as well. I have full confidence that you can do this!

Thanks for you answers , I still feel like a child when it comes to self awareness , I am socially naive and didn't even realise it. I've learned so much about myself in the last year. I've just lumped all my issues into one big label and never really questioned it , I just accepted that I was a weirdo and would always struggle. I have always been too scared to actually investigate what is actually wrong with me.

If it's not painful and nobody minds sharing could you please describe what your senses go through with shutdowns , meltdowns.

For the longest time when I've had an episode ( of whatever is wrong with me ) I've believed I was going mad , felt like I was losing touch with reality , I get hypervigilant and make up all sort of crazy things in my mind but never cross the line where they become delusions ( i.e. completely believe the crazy stuff ) although it doesn't seem far off. I always feel like the next time might be the time I do become delusional and never come back.

I have done the same , I'm trying to avoid discussions which involve some sort of conflict but I know I'll end posting something that will cause conflict - I always do

hey, I can make some crazy threads to keep you busy and ward off the temptation! (If that might help)

You're welcome, Ferris. I, too, am socially naive, which is, in large part, why I stay away from certain types of discussions/topic threads, as well as speaking to people in PM's. PM's with certain types of communication style, make me extremely anxious. I let people know if I am too anxious to PM, and, that it is nothing to do with them, but rather, I simply become to anxious when PMing. Some people (not all) take it personally, and tell their friends that I am a horrible person, simply for having too much anxiety when I write in PM, then I get bullied. It has progressively become worse, and this is what has perpetuated my anxiety in recent weeks. I considered, yesterday, taking an extended hiatus from here, but two things came to mind - 1. The fact that it is extremely difficult for me to re-enter a room full of people, so I can't be sure I will have the ability to return, and, 2. I don't want to give bullies power over me/whether I stay or go. I get far too much out of WP, to leave, despite the fact that it has become exhausting and far, too anxiety provoking, to manage properly. This has happened, previously, the bullies got bored with me and moved on. I am hoping for the same, this round. Hopefully, sooner than later. Sorry, I made your post, too much about myself. Will return here, soon, to read more, and post, further.

This is what happens to me, verbatim. I have not been able to describe it, in words, so, thank you VERY much, posting your description of what happens to you. I am in this state, when I have high anxiety. Yesterday, you wrote somewhere that you stopped considering paranoia, as it is only connected to the S word, and, that it is, instead, your anxiety that you had been experiencing. I went off and introspected on that, and, I am quite sure that it is a form of being paranoid (at least in my case). Even if not diagnosable paranoia. Or, perhaps it is a fine line between extreme anxiety and paranoia. Anyway, your description is exactly, word-for-word what happens to me. It is ignited by being in a previous, anxious or inferior state of mind (in my case). I have put it in the category of social anxiety, but, my therapist says it stems from anxiety, in general.