BPD w/ Bi-polar - Aspies too? Very curious

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Hello my name is RON.
I have a DX of BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) with Bi-polar and SEVERE Anxiety. I am a recipient of SSD, as this became the only way I could support my 3 children. (I have 4, 3 of which I have LEGAL rights too.)
2 Of my children have Autism Diagnosis. One more severe than the other. My first son has nothing of sorts, bad eyes.

My DX didnt come to fruition until almost 4 years ago. I was struggling with my emotions and self harm pretty severe. I had been dealing with anxiety and depression for YEARS. I can trace my issues back to my childhood. Which was full of being bullied and under constant duress and anxiety from never knowing what my day would bring. I recall beating my head on the walls, biting myself, punching myself, screaming and running away from situations I couldnt handle. I had my first cutting incident at 13, I believe as a way to set myself apart from others and I enjoyed it for some reason.

As an adult I drank allot, took nerve pills to get thru the day, and became very self destructive. Over the years I struggled with substance abuse and have been sober for over a year at this point, and have not cut in over a year as well.

I guess I could get to the point. I have been considering the prospect of ASPIES being an issue. Certain traits I exhibit point to it and the fact that 2 of my 4 children have autism to some degree (Diagnosed). When certain things happen, albeit miniscule and petty, I can be overloaded and inside feel like I am going to scream or explode. EX: Someone sits next to be and bumps my chair. That vibration absolute triggers something in me that makes me so agitated I could scream. If there are 2 people talking around me I become overloaded. If my MOTHER calls me more than once in a 2-3 hour time frame I become infuriated and snap at her. I also snap at my children and others for the things that trigger me. I am not LOUD and VIOLENT or anything, I just get snappy. I do NOT SCREAM or YELL I must stress this.

Whenever I snap at people I immediately feel horrible for having snapped at them. EVEN if I am in the right at snapping, or disciplining my children. I feel tremendous guilt and remorse, and find myself trying to make up for it. (There are periods of time when I can maintain stability and CALM, but there are weeks when I cant. This is a cycle.) From hour to hour I can be irritated, happy, sad, mad, full of energy, or totally drained. (This is the Bi-polar I am certain) The triggers are what I am curious about. Some of them are so petty, that I wonder WHY and it drives me absolutely insane. Like a sudden loud noise, bumping my chair, when someone is eating I can hear them chew and breathe and it disgust me to anxiety, people in the room talking or just being there distracts me from being able to concentrate. (it goes on and ON)

my struggle is the fact that every emotion is a 10 for me. Its never NOT a 10... it takes great restraint for me to not react to these situations. Not to verbally express my anxiety, or to calm the emotion to a tolerable state.

I may have lost my point or direction somehwre along the line, people are in the room and it is very hard for me to concentrate and keep my train of though. not to mention some keeps BUMPING MY CHAIR!

Any thoughts? I am seeking insight and opinions....

Thanks
Ron

My psychiatrist thinks I have it.

This from the wikipedia page on BPD describes me well:

Attachment studies suggest individuals with BPD, while being high in intimacy- or novelty-seeking, can be hyper-alert[8] to signs of rejection or not being valued and tend toward insecure, avoidant or ambivalent, or fearfully preoccupied patterns in relationships

but I have a quite stable self-image, more stable I'd say than most people.

I do tend to go between extremes of demonizing and beatifying people closest to me but I try not to let that get out of hand cause I realize I'm doing it.

I'm not sure the connection with Asperger's but it seems highly likely they're linked. the hyper-alertness is intrinsic to both. So is all-or-nothing thinking.

This gives me a lot to think about.

EDIT:

What you're describing, OP, sounds fairly typical for borderline PD. Do you have AS traits that can't be explained by borderline PD, like obsessive interests, sensory processing differences, stimming, etc?

I think BPD and AS are unrelated - they can coexist, but no more than would be expected by chance. BPD is generally caused by severe childhood abuse, while AS is inborn.

However, BPD does seem to be related to bipolar disorder, which is also related to AS. Bipolar is mostly inborn, though stress can bring it out if you have a genetic susceptibility. I suspect the link with BPD & bipolar is that a bipolar person is more likely to cope with serious trauma by being borderline, as opposed to something like shutting off emotions. AS seems to share some genes in common with bipolar disorder, and I've seen several people with both.

Another thought is that Newson Syndrome (also called Pathological Demand Avoidance) is an autism spectrum condition that can resemble BPD. People with this condition tend to have mood swings and switch between loving and hating people, and seem to have identity issues. But they have a phobia of being controlled that leads them to resist demands from authority figures obsessively, and they tend to have an obsession with role-playing and pretend. And while BPD usually first develops in adolescence or adulthood, Newson Syndrome is present from birth. They also tend to have speech delays and most are clumsy.

I do not think Borderline and Aspergers are related at all.