Motivation/"drive" issues?

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Joined: 23 Jul 2012
Gender: Male
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Location: Land of Beer and Guns (Texas)

25 Jul 2012, 6:44 am

My therapist says I lack drive, though I feel it's more... willpower and motivation.

I ask people... how can I come to become more reliable? I mean, I AM reliable, but not in the finished sort of way. I have so many RPG's that I quit before the last boss, for instance. Or games that I quit in the middle. And it's not just games, it's any project. Exercising, gaming, reading, learning, cleaning. Sometimes even to an extent my sexual activities have been affected, when I have them.

What are some ways to circumvent or circumcise this? What are some tips to grow into the right mindset to change this or at least make my desire to finish these things last longer?

I'll probably not respond well at all, first. I don't think I'm alone that way. Hopefully, patience will win over those who wish to help a "lost soul" like me.

auntblabby
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25 Jul 2012, 1:18 pm

the only thing that makes me not flake out on people, is the fact that i honor the golden rule.

ZpykeEboto
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25 Jul 2012, 6:53 pm

auntblabby wrote:

the only thing that makes me not flake out on people, is the fact that i honor the golden rule.

Treat people as you wish to be treated?

I follow that, too, but eventually I have a mental breakdown. Like when I played Maplestory, and everyone EXPECTED me to play every day...

auntblabby
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25 Jul 2012, 9:18 pm

ZpykeEboto wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

the only thing that makes me not flake out on people, is the fact that i honor the golden rule.

Treat people as you wish to be treated?

I follow that, too, but eventually I have a mental breakdown. Like when I played Maplestory, and everyone EXPECTED me to play every day...

gee

what's "maplestory"?

ZpykeEboto
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27 Jul 2012, 4:55 am

auntblabby wrote:

ZpykeEboto wrote:

auntblabby wrote:

the only thing that makes me not flake out on people, is the fact that i honor the golden rule.

Treat people as you wish to be treated?

I follow that, too, but eventually I have a mental breakdown. Like when I played Maplestory, and everyone EXPECTED me to play every day...

gee

what's "maplestory"?

Maplestory was a "free" to play mmo. Well, it started free, but these days it's Pay-to-win. Anyways, it became so grindy and farmy that people would push others, including me, to play every day. Eventually I just ended up avoiding it and doing other things to calm down, and then would make some excuses for not playing, even though I would generally play from time to time. That game was a huge example of social and economic peer pressure and desperation.

Casstranquility
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31 Jul 2012, 3:27 pm

I have motivation issues, too. Sometimes they have been so severe that I looked into avolition. I also have difficulty finishing things that I start, I have many video games that I have given up on, books, chores, anything that can take too long I can lose motivation to continue with. With chores, I have to find a reason to accomplish it, and usually it is other-based, I complete the task for another person. Unless it is health related, in which case I eventually find the willpower to take care of it before it bothers me more than I can handle (such as chores that would clear up my allergies). I have a high tolerance for suffering, though, so even then it can be tough to force myself to do something.

Desire itself I have not been able to locate. I only know that I won't see something finished unless I finish it. If I don't move toward what I lack motivation to do, it will never get done. I have to remember that I often feel better if I just act, rather than procrastinate till I find the willpower/want. I wish I had real tips for you, but I'm only beginning to help myself with this through the use of scheduling. It doesn't add desire but I'm more reliable to myself. I have scheduled myself into finishing a video game before! (Two or three hours a day until it is done.) I tried to schedule in painting/drawing but that hasn't held together yet.

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Toucan
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Joined: 30 Jul 2012
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31 Jul 2012, 6:37 pm

Quote:

I have so many RPG's that I quit before the last boss, for instance. Or games that I quit in the middle

Huh? Me too! Except it also goes for movies, etc.

I wonder if it's autistic trait.

ZpykeEboto
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Joined: 23 Jul 2012
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01 Aug 2012, 12:28 am

Casstranquility wrote:

Maybe I should work my way towards trying that. It might help. But I'm probably still far away from really completing most things.

And it seems it is a common trait, as it doesn't seem many people have much advice to give on this subject.

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