Feeling guilt about bipolar brother will not help himself.

Post Reply New Topic

How do you not feel guilty about saying good bye to a bi polar brother who is off his meds, blowing through his savings to get smashed, and will likely never see his baby son again because his insane ex wife will not be happy when she finds out he lost his job and will not be able go pay child support? How do you convince yourself someone spiraling downward, ruining their life, even if it's family, will eventually drag you down with them. Especially if the person is repeating the same mistakes over and over and over again. By that I mean going off meds and letting everything go to s**t each time? How do you stop worrying and feeling guilty about did they eat today, did they stay dry and out of the rain, do they have clean clothes, are they broke yet, where will they sleep tonight, and ultimately how bad is this manic episode going go take them? He is close go being homeless, motels are expensive, and he blew through all his friends. I am sick and tired of wondering is he going to show up somewhere and make a huge azz of himself, or is he in jail? Or worse is he dead? I don't know how go shut it off and quit worrying about it : ( maybe jail would be a good place for him to learn to be responsible for his life? At least he'd have a roof over his head and a meal. Do they force you to take meds if your bi polar in jail/ prison? I'm worried sick about him, and I realize I cannot help him, it's breaking my heart. I'm having panic attacks about his well being, when I wish I can just forget about it. Ugh.

I'm sure that's rough.
My nephew has HFA and bipolar. It's not even my job, but I worry about him.
I also worry about the people who have to put up with him, currently his 85-yer-old grandmother.
I've lost count of how many times she's kicked him out, but lets him back a few days later.
She shouldn't let him come back, but what can you do?

"smashed" makes it sound like there's a substance problem, too. al-anon helps people learn how to take care of themselves in the face of a family or friend's drinking. (there's nar-anon for families of folks involved with other drugs, but it's less available and the al-anon world service office says anyone who feels they're benefiting is welcome.) if you don't feel comfortable there, try NAMI's family to family program.

Not really sure if there is a way to entirely stop worrying about someone, if your worried.....also though a lot of times people go off meds because the meds have very unpleasant side effects....in my opinion mental health professionals need to do a better job of listening to patients when they say a medication is not working or that the side effects are not worth the 'benefit' and try different ones and be more willing to work with them. Also though jail/prison does not teach people how to be responsible for their lives though it would be nice if the purpose was more rehabilitation but like that's going to happen.

I don't think I would be able to say 'goodbye' to a close family member for goo, no matter how far down the spiral they where going....and not saying that is right and the other is wrong, but yeah unless it was something like they where abusing me and therefore care nothing for my wellbeing then no I wouldn't have it in me. But yeah if you're really having a hard time with this maybe looking into some sort of therapy could help, I mean obviously it doesn't do you much good to constantly be worried sick so it seems you could use some support with that situation.