What is wrong with me? Mean and egoistic thoughts.

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Hello. I was recently diagnosed with aspergers, which explains a lot, but I do have some other issues that makes me feel incredible mean. I have always gotten extremely uncomfortable and angry when people around me does the same thing as me or has the same problems as me. For example, I am a dancer, and when my sister wanted to start ballet lessons herself I got so extremely upset. Same when my brother wanted to start playing an instrument like me. And now (I consider this the worst) that I have gotten the aspergers diagnosis, I keep getting angry when I see asperger traits in my brother. I constantly analyze his aspie traits and try to explain them in another way. In my head, the worst possible scenario is that he also have Asperger's. I believe a part of me wants no one to be the same as me. I really don't want to be like this, but I can not stop. I feel so bad for even thinking these thoughts. Are anyone here experiencing something similar? If so, is there a name for this?
I know how bad this sounds, I want to get rid of these thoughts, so please do not be mean.

Emotional development takes longer for those of us with Asperger's Syndrome, so what you describe above is in the neurotypical sense a late development of what is referred to very simply as sibling and social rivalry. This typically stems from insecurities that develop due to no longer being the centre of attention during childhood, as normally occurs when new brothers or sisters coming along, or when children or teenagers etc compete together for singular rewards or social positions and outcomes etc. Consider for example being top of the class, in or out of particular social sets, dating scenarios, job positions, pay scales and all that.

Basically you are relating your processes of individuation as like singularly unique objects that belong to you personally, such as your bedroom or your clothes for example, which if used by someone else without your permission ~ you would have very good reason to feel upset about that. Obviously when it comes to people having similar problems or doing things that you also do, learning in a sense to share the limelight is part of the problem, and the other part is learning to recognise this problem as being a developmental solution for greater potentials of achievement.

One suggestion, aside from taking things slowly, is perhaps learn to contain your annoyances without thinking directly about them, and learn to feel more instead the emotional content of your thoughts. Doing deep gentle pelvic breathing during this can really help to recycle the emotional energy involved in this process, allowing, progressively, over time, a more conducive mind-body relationship to develop.

If any of that helps at all?

I wonder about the use of the word "egoistic" in the title...

I was told so many times that I'm not special, just like everybody else... but I do feel special (strange, odd, not fitting) and I hate people trying to persuade me I'm not. And yes, my parents said it was egoistic whenever I expressed I felt I'm different.

Another thing - how is your feeing of security and self-esteem? I hate it when people do the same things I do because competition freaks me out. I have that feeeling that if I'm not the best, I'm worthless - I know it's not true but it's very hard to stop thinking like this after years and years of building my self-esteem and social position on being the best. So I tend to back off whenever a faintest idea of competition shows up.

And yet another thing that may matter - preference to do things on your own, to be left alone and being irritated when someone tries to join.

Just a bunch of ideas based on similar expiriences I've had.