Limericks and funny poetry

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A few limericks I made (most of them suck). You can post your own limericks too.

-The man's a merry mister
But in truth a botchy baker
When he made cookies
One fell in my panties
So I chased the cracker!

-I torn off my old pants
During one of my silly rants
It happened in a pile of thorn
And it turned to porn
Because of my breast implants

-I love my female dog really rich
Tough she can be a bad b***h
She leaves fur everywhere
And poop on the stairs
Then bark with a really high pitch.

-All of those sh***y limericks
Still beat a headshot with a brick
Listenners should be amused
But they are confused
And they think I'm a total dick

Cool thread! I'm surprised nobody answered to this!

I have some funny little poems here:-

Congratulations it's your birthday
I hope it's lot's of fun
So roll this card up nice and tight
And stick it up your bum!

Nicola Nicolous couldn't care less
Nicola Nicolous tore her dress
Nicola Nicolous tore her knickers
Now Nicola Nicolous is knickerless!

Poor little Arabella
Why didn't someone tell her
Not to use her umbrella
When the North wind blows.


(This poem is only used if you fancy a bus-driver, so replace the word ''driver'' with the name of who one you like. A two-syllable name would be best).

Please be on the bus, (driver)
Please be on the bus
I really miss you
And I want to kiss you
So PLEASE be on the bus!