I have a sample of my writing to post here.

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I'll post a sample of my fictional story here... it is not the main storyline. this ones just for fun.
if you want to read more I can post the first chapter after I've heard what you think of it.
Tell me what you think and if I should post more of it...
it doesn't appear exactly the same here... I tried to fix it.
I do not know why the scentences are not layed out correctly here... but they are on my original document
It is a long one... so here it is.

sample of chapter one...

She woke up on the small sandy beach, near the rain forest.
“Huh? Where am I?” she said to herself.
She looked out at the ocean and thought she might have been in a ship wreck, But there was no boat, or parts of a boat. Beside the fact that there was no boat she didn’t remember being on a boat in the first place. So where did she come from?
The girl did not remember much, her age, her home, where she was, these were all things she had forgotten. One thing was clear, her name first name, Aqua. Then she made sure her clothes were clean and they were not wet, so ether they had dried or she had never been in the water. That seemed odd but to her, it was more important that her pine green sleeveless jacket, and matching skirt were not harmed, she also wears matching shoes in the same color and she wears, what were once the sleeves of her jacket, on her legs. On her upper arms she wears a set of belts, both are black with tiny blue diamonds in them. Then she has custom gloves made of similar belts and the ends of the sleeves that had been a part of her jacket.
Aqua then checked the green bow in her hair and fixed it. Now she took a hair comb out of her pocket and made sure her natural bright blue hair was combed just the way she likes with a very long pony tail. She also took a mirror out of her pocket, to look at her dark blue eyes. Everything seemed to be in order. Then a young girl’s voice yelled.
“Hey Aqua! Your home!”.
Aqua looked behind herself to see a child who looked surprisingly like she did when she was that young. So she asked,
“Who are you and how do you know my name?”
The little girl seemed awfully confused, for whatever reason, Aqua felt like they met before.

I can't believe no one will read this.
Is it becuase of the layout or format?
I tried to fix it but can't get it right.... A little help please.

I just want to know if it's any good...

hey i read it

i think you need to jiggle your wording around a bit to make it read more smoothly. for example this sentence came across as slightly confusing to me "Then she made sure her clothes were clean and they were not wet, so ether they had dried or she had never been in the water.". maybe that's just me though.
also noticed use of the word 'then' a lot, which bugged me
and story-wise i don't understand how she knew everything was in order with her appearance/clothes and hair, yet had lost her memory of everything else.

but i like the idea and it makes an interesting start to a story(:

I didn't realize that. I could Change it... but this project took a while... not as long as the real story. (which has little to do with this one)
this one is mostly for fun... I'll think about fixing any errors you point out.

Should I post the full first Chapter? this was only the beginning of Chapter one... There is more to it... alot more.

I'll admit it isn't my best work...

also... if you want to read more... it has 4 chapters some may be longer than others.
Sadly... I rushed chapter 4... and i'm afraid that maybe I should not post chapter 4.
unless someone wants to read the story's bizarre ending... which I didn't put enought thought into.

I'm sure however that chapters 1, 2 and 3... are planed out better.

please let me know of any mistakes I made.... and if you want to read more.

also .... how do I get it to look like it does on my original document.



I wanted it to seem like her clothes had a hidden/secret/ important meaning. I may have forgot to add that later in the story.
It could sound confusing... I fully understand this.