"Dominatrix"--in serious need of criticism.

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Are you ok?
You seem a little faint
Or are you more like a reception room
in which i have to wait?
I wanna be held
And I wanna be heard
But I keep seeing a door with a waiting list
In which your name is always on first

The world is my oyster
Cuz my clock is ticking
But yours is a temple
Oh please
Will u keep me?
I don't think u understand
When your holding my hand
I'm an quake in need of retrofitting
Cause you're making me shift
I’m barely holding on

You act like a hawk
absorbing my every move
hovering over the atmosphere
Dominating contemplating

that's as far as I went. any suggestions from fellow musicians??

seems like it might need a main refrain, such as:

YOU ARE MY DOMINATRIX
OH, YES, YOU ARE . . .
. . . . . . .

I like it, especially the rhymes and structure.

I like it, sounds like it was inspired by a Nine Inch Nails song.